#that which only time i know has the key to

[lubdubology]

Take My Love and Wear It

SYNOPSIS: Taking care of Charles has its own special challenges, but you didn’t expect the hardest one to be the man who hired you. Distant, gruff and rough around the edges, Logan still manages to worm his way under your skin. But you’ve worked your way under his, too. 

PAIRING: Old Man Logan x fem!reader

WC: 10.8k 

WARNINGS: smut 18+; mdni; angst; swearing; non-explicit mentions of wounds, blood and use of stitches; extreme physical pain; Charles is a lovable, meddling little shit; fluff sprinkled in for good measure; Logan in a tub (if I had a nickel for every time I bathed him, I’d have two nickels—which isn’t a lot, but its weird it happened twice, right); touch-starved Logan; handjobs; shower sex; fingering; dirty talk; oral (f receiving); sex with feelings; unprotected p in v; creampie

A/N: There’s something special about Old Man Logan, isn’t there? Old and grumpy and desperately in need of some love and affection. I know the Charles caregiver story has been done before, but I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. And then Charles starting talking in my head and well...it blossomed into this. As always, thank you to @joelsgoldrush for allowing me to send her snippets of this as I went along and offering her love, support and suggestions. I hope you enjoy this and any likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

You stare down at the remnants of yesterday’s cold and congealed dinner and sigh. Scraping the food into the trash, you resist the urge to pack everything you have and leave. 

One month. 

One month of helping Charles—making his meals, washing his clothes, giving him his meds, making sure he doesn’t hurt himself (or others), assisting with daily tasks—and Logan still regards you as a nuisance, like a gnat needing to be swatted away. 

At best, he ignores you, moving around the house as if you don’t exist. 

And at worst, he treats you with barely concealed contempt, his scowl deepening the lines of his face whenever he’s around you. As if you’re invading his space uninvited even though he’s the one that sought out help. 

You grip the edge of the sink, staring down into the porcelain basin as if it holds some hidden answers. Every day you’ve tried to break through walls Logan’s built around himself, held onto Charles’ promise that eventually he’ll soften, just give him time, but he only seems to have grown more hostile. And you’ve done nothing to incur his ire besides watching him come home every day battered and bruised, his very bones weary with exhaustion, and offering your assistance.

Part of you is angry—angry that you care so much when your main focus is supposed to be Charles. Angry that despite all his efforts to come across unapproachable and cold, Logan’s worked himself under your skin and takes a little piece of you with him whenever he leaves. 

Angry that somehow he’s stolen a piece of your heart. 

You hear shuffling behind you and turn to find Logan entering the kitchen, fingers fastening the last buttons on his dress shirt. “What?” he asks gruffly and for a moment you wonder if he can read your thoughts.

You straighten and meet his gaze head on, swallowing down your nervousness. “How much longer are we going to keep doing this, Logan?”

“Doing what?”

“This,” you say, gesturing between you. “You walking around here like I’m some stain upon your life, acting like I’m a problem when all I’ve ever done is try and help.” Your voice is steadier than you feel. “You asked for me to be here, Logan. It’s not like I barged in here without permission.”

Logan holds your gaze, his jaw tight, and for a moment you think he’s going to grab his keys and leave, head off into the night and drive until sunrise. His eyes soften for just a moment, something like regret crossing his features. 

“I know why you’re here. And I do…appreciate it,” he says, his words coming out low and rough. As if the words taste foreign in his mouth. 

“Wouldn’t kill you to show it,” you challenge.

You’re waiting for him to lash out and instead he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, I’m not good at this.”

“I’m not asking you to bow at my feet,” you say, hoping to ease some of the tension in the air. “Although, I wouldn’t be mad about it.” You think you see the briefest hint of a smile flicker across his face. “I just want us to be able to live in the same space. I’m here to help, Logan. Let me.”

“You have no idea how hard this life is.”

A rueful smile tugs at your lips. “I understand more than you think I do.”

Logan’s gaze sharpens, inquisitive as he searches your face, as if he’s trying to decipher the meaning behind your words. He rubs a hand across his face, scratching lightly as his beard. “I’ve gotta couple jobs tonight. Maybe more,” he finally says, changing the conversation. “Should be back before sunrise.”

You nod, his switch in topic not lost on you, but you don’t push him. “Alright,” you say softly. “Just—just take it easy, okay?”

He glances down at you, relief softening his gaze and you know a part of him is grateful you didn’t push further. 

Grabbing his keys, Logan heads towards the door but pauses just before he’s about to leave. He turns to look back over his shoulder. “Thanks,” he murmurs, the word awkward on his lips. 

You give him a small nod of encouragement as he slips out the door. He may not be ready to full open up, but you feel as if he extended a tiny olive branch tonight, cracked open the door just enough to let you peek in.

+++

Over the following weeks, Logan’s a little less avoidant. He doesn’t go out of his way to make conversation—you didn’t expect him to—but he at least as acknowledges your presence. Small nods and murmured goodbyes when he leaves and sleepy hellos when he returns. It’s not much, but you’ll take it. 

You’re cleaning the last of the dishes from dinner, Charles safely settled in front of the TV watching an old movie when Logan comes home. He’s earlier than you anticipated, but exhaustion lines his face nonetheless. You expect him to slip away quietly, but he pauses instead, lingering in the doorway. 

“Smells good,” he says softly, nodding towards the pan of half eaten lasagna still sitting on the counter. 

Surprised, you turn around to face him. You brush the hair from your face and say, “Sit. I’ll make you up some.” 

Logan hesitates and for a moment you think he’s about to decline, but then he nods, his shoulders dropping slightly as he sits down at the table. You fix him up a plate, setting it down in front of him with a bottle of beer as you slide into the chair across from him.  

He tucks quietly into the food, his fork scraping against his plate as he eats, pausing only to wash it down with a few swigs of beer. You watch him, a strange satisfaction tugging at you at the sight of him actually sitting down, enjoying a meal with you, even if it is in silence. 

“Long day?” you ask quietly, gesturing towards his bruised knuckles.

He flexes the fingers on his free hand before tucking them under the table. “Nothin’ I can’t handle,” he mutters, taking another bite of lasagna. “They’ll be gone in a day or two.”

You know not that long ago an injury like that wouldn’t have even marred his skin. Now, the simplest of wounds can take days to heal and it’s not the appearance of his skin that bothers you, but the newfound ache he experiences, the heaviness of constant pain.

You want to help him, ease his discomfort, like you know you could. But you know he’s not ready for that. Not yet.

“You’re good with Charles,” Logan says then, his gaze steady on his plate. “He seems calmer around you.”

Logan’s admission is so unexpected, you find yourself staring at him in disbelief. At your silence, his eyes flicker up to yours and you see more than simple acknowledgement in his expression. It’s subtle, but it’s there, a current of something more, something you’re not quite sure how to address.

“Thank you,” you murmur, your voice softer than you intended. “Charles—he means a lot to me.” You pause briefly, but something compels you to continue. “You both do.”

His gaze is focused on you and you don’t miss the flicker of surprise that breaks through his usual stoic expression. Clearing his throat, he looks down, pushing around the last bit of lasagna on his plate and then after a moment, he sets his fork down and leans back in his chair. “You mean a lot to him, too,” Logan finally says and you wonder if he’s talking about more than just Charles.

From the living room you hear Charles call for you, his voice soft but insistent. The moment between you still crackles as you stand from the table and as you begin to walk away, Logan reaches for your hand. His fingers are warm and rough against your skin and you’re barely able to suppress your shiver. 

“Thank you,” Logan says, his voice surprisingly soft. 

His grip against your skin is gentle, a stark contrast to all his roughness and you can feel the weight of his unspoken words curling around you. Charles calls again, his voice breaking through the moment, but Logan’s hand lingers just a beat longer before he lets go, fingers trailing along your skin. 

+++

“He likes you, you know.”

You glance up from shaving Charles’ face and find him staring at you, a mischievous glint in his eye. You give a soft hum. “Did he tell you that or did you read his mind?”

Charles scoffs and waves his hand dismissively. “What’s the difference, dear?” 

You chuckle, shaking your head as you rinse the razor. “With Logan I’m pretty sure there’s a big difference.”

“Bah, if Logan wanted to keep me out of his head, he would. Stubborn man.” He tsks softly to himself and shakes his head. “But, no my dear, he can be quite loud if you know how to listen.”

You raise an eyebrow, giving him a playful look. “Loud, huh? And what exactly is that brain of his telling you?”

Charles gives you a knowing smile. “Oh, just little things,” he says casually with a wave of his hand, but you can tell by the look on his face that he’s holding back. “He notices you—what you do for me, this place, for him. He may not realize it himself, but his thoughts linger on you more often than he’d like.”

A flicker of hope sparks in your chest and despite yourself, you feel a blush creeping into your cheeks. “Logan doesn’t strike me as the sentimental type.”

“Logan has spent so much of his life running,” Charles continues, his tone and expression growing more thoughtful. “The loss he’s experienced has led him to believe it’s better to be alone than form meaningful connections with people. But you’ve somehow become something of a home for him. And he doesn’t quite know what to make of that.”

Your heart skips a beat as you take in his words. The idea of being a home for Logan, a comfort, feels surreal, and yet...there’s a part of you that dares to hope what Charles is saying is true. That this isn’t some fictional truth his brain has concocted, a product of his disease riddled mind. 

“Home.” You repeat the word softly to yourself, testing the word on your own tongue as if it might shatter into pieces.

Charles nods, his hand reaching for yours, his gaze warm and knowing. “Yes, home. He feels it, deep down, in a way that’s unfamiliar and frightening for him.”

You glance down at your hand in Charles’ grasp, his touch grounding you as his words settle over you. 

“Logan’s spent so long hiding from himself,” Charles continues. “I think he’s convinced himself he doesn’t deserve that kind of peace.”

“And you think I can give him that peace?” you ask quietly, your eyes flicking back up to Charles’ face.

He smiles knowingly and gives your hand a squeeze. “You already have, dear.”

+++

“Want some help?”

You turn to find Logan standing in the entrance of the kitchen, hands tucked into his pockets.

It’s a rare night—one where Logan’s chosen to stay home, taking a night off from the almost endless driving he does. He’s dressed down, well worn jeans and a button-up flannel, and for once you actually think he looks comfortable.

You smile, surprised, but happy to see him there. “Sure, the company would be nice,” you reply as he comes to stand next to you. “Want to wash and dice the potatoes?”

Logan nods and rolls up his sleeves before reaching for the bowl of potatoes you had set aside earlier. You watch him for a moment as he settles into the task with a quiet focus. 

“Smells good,” he comments, gesturing towards the oven. “What’re we having?”

“Charles has been asking for beef tenderloin for weeks now, so I’m finally indulging him.” You finish trimming the last of the green beans and toss them into the bowl beside you. “You know, if you have any favorite meals you’d like me to make, you can tell me.”

Logan pauses and glances at you as he shuts off the tap. He clears his throat and says, “You already are.”

You blink in surprise as Logan’s words sink in and then the realization dawns on you. A soft smile spreads across your face as you piece together the extent of Charles’ meddling. You can’t find it in you to be annoyed and only feel a mix of amusement and fondness towards the old man as you chuckle softly to yourself.

“What’s so funny?” Logan asks, raising his eyebrow as he catches your expression.

“Oh, nothing,” you say, waving him off with a smile. 

Logan doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t pry as he picks up the knife and begins to deftly dice the potatoes. You watch him for a moment, captivated by the simple domesticity of the task. It’s in direct contrast to the man you’ve seen numerous times before, brooding and gruff, brimming with an almost untamed violence. 

It suits him, you think, this quieter version of himself.

You both finish the prep with relative ease. He helps you set the table as the rest of the food cooks, plates clinking softly as he sets them down. You busy yourself with finishing the green beans in a garlic butter as you wait for for the tenderloin to rest enough to carve into. 

“Ah, my dear, this smells wonderful,” Charles announces as he rolls into the kitchen, a warm smile on his face. “And you managed to pull Logan out of his room. What a treat.”

Logan snorts in response, giving Charles a pointed glare.

“I dare say it’s because the company has improved much as of late,” Charles says, his eyes twinkling in amusement as he glances between the both of you. “We all know he’s not out here for my benefit.”

You laugh as you bring the dishes to the table, noting the faintest of blushes creeping along Logan’s cheeks. “I’ll take that as a compliment, Charles.”

“As you should, dear. Your personality is quite sparkling.” He looks over towards Logan. “Isn’t it, Logan?”

Logan’s eyes land on you as he answers, “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Dinner begins quietly, the three of you settling into easy conversation as the first few bites are consumed. Both Charles and Logan hum in delight and a warmth blooms within you watching them both. This—this is the simplicity you’ve been craving with Logan.

As the meal continues, Charles launches into his usual repertoire of stories, those of the school and his students, his words brimming with nostalgia and pride as he talks. Logan sits back in his chair, arms crossed as he listens to him speak, shaking his head fondly at some of the memories.

“You know,” Charles begins, setting his fork down with an air of mischief, “I don’t think I ever told you how I met Logan, have I?”

Logan’s head snaps up. “Don’t, Chuck.”

But Charles is already smiling at you, ignoring Logan’s warning. “It’s a good story, dear. See, Logan had quite the career as an underground cage fighter.”

You lift your brows in surprise and you glance over at Logan, who’s thoroughly unamused by Charles’ choice of topic. “Cage fighting, huh?” you ask, unable to suppress your curiosity. 

Logan shifts uncomfortably in his seat, stabbing at his potatoes with a little more force than necessary. “It wasn’t a career,” he mutters. “Just a distraction. Way to get by.”

“Mmm, yes, perhaps,” Charles chuckles, clearly enjoying himself. “Regardless of the reason, it lead you to this exact moment. Didn’t it, Logan?”

Logan narrows his eyes at Charles, though the glare is only half-hearted. “You make it sound like all it all had some grand purpose.”

“Did it not?” Charles says gently, his tone shifting into something more serious. “Kept you alive, for one. But more than that, it brought you to us. To me.” He pauses for a moment, his eyes darting towards you. “To her.”

The words hang in the air and you glance over at Logan, whose expression softens just slightly. Without thinking, you reach across the table and give his forearm a gentle squeeze. His eyes meet yours, a flicker of a smile tugging at his lips.

Charles watches the exchange with quiet satisfaction before clearing his throat. “Well, I believe my work here is done,” he announces, wheeling himself back from he table. “Logan, fancy a game of chess? I haven’t made a player out of her yet.”

You laugh to yourself as Logan follows Charles into the living room. After clearing the kitchen from dinner and loading the last of the dishes into the dishwasher, you join them both in the living room. Tucking yourself into the couch, you read while the two of them play, the clinking of wooden chess pieces and the occasional dry quip from Charles filling the room.

From your spot on the couch, you glance up from your book every now and then to watch them. Logan’s brow furrows in concentration, while Charles’ face is more relaxed as they play. You smile to yourself, wondering how often they played like this in the past, when times were simpler.

You’re not sure when you fell asleep or how long you’ve been out, but you’re jostled awake as two large, warm arms wrap around you, holding you close as you’re lifted off the couch. Logan’s familiar scent—cigar smoke and pine—fill your nose and you blink up to find him walking you down the hall towards your room.

“Logan?” you mumble, voice thick with sleep. “D’you really cage fight?”

Logan chuckles softly, the sound rumbling through his chest. “I really did.”

“Did it hurt?”

“No.”

You blink slowly, your sleep-laden mind struggling to process his answer. “Not even a little?” Your voice is barely audible as you nestle closer into the warmth of his chest.

“Not in the way you think,” he answers, nudging open the door to your room with his foot.

You’re too drowsy to ask what he means and instead you hum softly, a noncommittal sound that Logan feels more than hears. Lowering you onto the bed, he moves with a gentleness you’ve never felt from him before. He brushes a strand of hair from your face and pulls the blanket over you before he turns to leave.

Your limbs are heavy, eyes barely open, but you call out softly—“Logan?”

He looks back towards you. “Yeah?”

“I’m glad Charles found you,” you murmur, closing your eyes.

Logan doesn’t answer, but you swear you feel the lightest of kisses against the top of your head before he leaves.

+++

It’s deep into the night when you hear the front door finally open. Your heart flutters against your ribs as you swing out of bed, unsure of what condition you’ll find him in. He was expected back two days ago, those extra hours away feeling like an unfathomable eternity. 

You find him sitting at the kitchen table, dress shirt hanging off one shoulder, the rest of his clothes rumpled and bloodied. A large gash oozes from his shoulder and you can’t stop the gasp that falls from your lips. 

Logan looks up at you, eyes narrowed and lined with exhaustion. “Don’t look at me like that,” he grunts, tugging off the rest of his shirt. 

“How else am I supposed to look at you?” you ask, taking a tentative step forward. “No phone call or text letting me know you’re not coming home and then you waltz in after midnight soaked in blood and covered in wounds.” Unshed tears burn in your eyes but you will yourself not to cry. 

“Didn’t ask you to care about me,” he bites back, but his tone is more weary than argumentative. 

“Oh, fuck you, Logan,” you snip, but your tone lacks venom.

He ignores you, pushing up from the chair with a heavy groan and limps over towards the cabinets. He shuffles through one of them, pulling out the makeshift sewing kit before sitting back down. You watch as he attempts to thread the needle, growing increasingly frustrated when he keeps missing. 

Shoving down your own frustration, you pull up a chair next to him and reach for the needle and thread. He pulls his hands away from you, turning in the chair to keep you away. You chase after his movements, finally grabbing his wrists and removing the supplies from his grasp.

“I don’t need your help,” he growls. 

You sigh, tired of this same argument, this same endless loop every time he comes home injured. “Goddamit, Logan, just let me help you.”

He drags his gaze up to yours, eyes tracing the lines of your face. His chest still heaves with heavy breaths, but you can see the anger bleed from him. He nods once, turning just enough so that you have access to his wound. Threading the needle, you place a gentle hand on his shoulder, ignoring the flinch he gives at your touch. 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” you whisper. 

Logan huffs. “It’s a needle, darlin’. It’s not gonna feel nice.”

You try to ignore the flip your heart does at his use of the word darling. Despite his earlier gruffness and proclivity to push you away, Logan has softened to you over the last couple of months. Since that first dinner you shared, he’s joined you and Charles more often. Or if he comes home late, sought out the leftovers you’ve kept for him. He’s engaged in conversation, offering small pieces of himself, pieces that you’ve cradled close and nurtured. 

But there’s a tension between you, thick and heavy in the air, and you wonder if he feels it too. Feels that same undeniable pull you’ve always felt in his presence. You’d like to think so, otherwise you were doomed to love him silently, your feelings for him bound in the quiet of your mind.

“Just trust me,” you say. 

Slowly, you release your power, warmth spreading from your fingertips, easing his pain and discomfort as you begin to stitch him up. You try to ignore the heavy press of his gaze on your face and you can almost hear his unspoken thoughts, his words still stuck on his tongue.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, his shoulder relaxing as you continue to work.

You glance up at him then, finding his expression softer than you’ve seen it. “A mutant is a dangerous thing to be, Logan,” you answer, your voice soft. “Few people know what I can do. Those I trust.”

For a long moment, Logan just looks at you, his eyes unreadable. Then, a rough, tired sigh falls from his lips. “You coulda told me.”

You take a steadying breath, his words lingering in the space between you. “Maybe,” you say, your fingers brushing against his skin as you continue to stitch. “But you don’t make it easy to talk to you.”

Logan lets out a low huff. “No. I guess I don’t, do I?”

You finish the last stitch, securing the knot. Your fingers linger a touch long than necessary, the warmth of his skin a comfort you’re loathe to lose just yet. Slowly, you lift your gaze to his and you feel your heart beat solidly against your ribs as he looks back at you like he’s seeing something there he hadn’t allowed himself to before. 

Logan’s voice is low when he finally speaks. “Why you keep stickin’ around? Watchin’ me come home time after time covered in blood?”

“Because you deserve it.” The words tumble from your mouth before you can stop them. “Even if you don’t see that.”

He doesn’t respond, not right away, as he continues to watch you, his eyes tracing the lines of your face. Then he reaches up for you, fingers curling around your wrist, his skin warm and rough against yours. He holds you there as if grounding himself in your presence, his thumb drawing random patterns against your skin. The gesture is simple, but vulnerable and open in a way he rarely shows.

“I’m no good for you,” he murmurs, glancing down at where he’s touching you. “For anybody.”

“How ‘bout you let me be the judge of that?” you answer, your voice steady. “You’re more than you think you are.”

Logan clenches his jaw, a flicker of disbelief crossing his features, and you know deep below the surface he’s waging a war against himself, one he’s been fighting for far too long. His thumb stills on your wrist, his grip loosening slightly, but not letting go. 

Placing your hand over his, you give him a soft smile. “C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.”

+++

You’re surprised that he doesn’t argue, doesn’t try to brush you off or push you away as you gently nudge him towards the bathroom. He still gives you a dubious glance as he looks down at the tub, but you just ignore it, moving past him to run the tap.

You give him privacy to undress and get settled before you reenter the bathroom. The sight of him, as large as he his with his knees pulled up to his chest, makes you laugh, garnishing a terse look from him.

“You find this amusing?”

“Big man in a little tub? Yeah, I do,” you reply with a smile. “Just relax, Logan. This’ll be our secret.”

He huffs, but does seem to visibly relax, resting his arms over his knees. You kneel down in front of him, resting one hand gently against his forearm as your other reaches for the washcloth. You can feel the tension release from his muscles as your power floods through him and he breathes out a soft, “Oh,” as all the pain and discomfort is eased from his body.

You wonder how long it’s truly been since he’s felt like this, unburdened by the pain and suffering of his own body. Your heart aches for him as you slowly begin to wash him, rubbing soft circles over the scarred flesh of his back, rinsing away the blood dried to his skin. 

Even battered and marred as he is, you still find him beautiful—you always have. When you first started working with him all those months ago, you felt that pang of attraction when you met him, you’d have been blind not to. Ruggedly handsome, so strong and sure of himself. But you know that wasn’t all that drew you to him. Deep down, below all the tough, seemingly impenetrable exterior, you saw the man he truly was. Someone born of scars and rough edges, yet gentle. Someone who would selflessly put himself before others, even at his own expense. 

You let the cloth linger a moment longer against his skin before dipping it back into the water, watching as his blood rinses from the fabric. Squeezing the excess water out, you press it back against his collarbone, tracing the warm cloth along his neck and over his shoulders. Logan doesn’t move, his eyes half-closed, his expression relaxed in a way you’ve never seen before.

Something deep tugs at you as you realize how vulnerable he is right now, how trusting. He hides behind a gruff exterior, his true self guarded so carefully so that he doesn’t let people in, doesn’t open himself up to the hurt that trusting another person can bring. But maybe you’ve finally cracked through, broken down a little bit of that wall he surrounds himself with.

The warm water drips from his skin as you continue to wash him, letting your fingers trail gently along the newly cleaned lines of his arms. Logan shivers at your touch, but he doesn’t pull away. If anything, he seems to lean into it, his breathing deepening, muscles falling even more slack. 

“Feel nice?” you ask in a murmur, voice barely above a whisper.

He nods, finally glancing up at you through his half-lidded gaze. “’S very nice,” he replies, his voice rough.

“Good. You deserve it,” you say, repeating your sentiment from earlier.

You feel a flicker of warmth as his eyes meet yours and he simply nods. It takes everything in you to not smile too widely, to keep the moment gentle, but you take his acceptance to heart. 

Running the cloth down his ribs, you pause when you feel the misshapen knot of a bruise beneath your fingers and glancing down, you find a deep purple hue coloring his skin. Your eyes dart to his with worry, knowing that an injury like that will take him at least a week to heal, if not longer, in his weakened state. That with every breath he’ll feel the pain of his muscles pulling and the bruise spreading if you’re not touching him.

Dropping the washcloth in the water, you press your palm against his side and take in a deep breath to steady yourself. Then, a warmth spreads from your skin into his as you pull his injury from him, feeling his skin knit back together, feeling his abused muscles realign themselves under his skin. A dull, yet sharp ache, blooms along your ribs as you continue to pull his pain into yourself, erasing the injury from his body. With a final gasp, you draw back, your fingers now running along unmarred flesh knitted whole. 

Logan tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze as the back of his knuckles brush against your cheek. His eyes flicker to yours, holding your gaze, and for a moment, the room falls into a deep quiet.

That pull between you, the magnetic force that you’ve felt since the beginning, feels amplified now. You’re acutely aware of every inch of space between you—how small it is, how easy it would be to close it. How badly you want to close it. You swallow, feeling the tension coil in your belly as he continues to hold your gaze, unblinking, but more open and raw than he’s ever been before.

“What are you doing to me?” he asks.

Your breath catches in your throat at his question, voice rough and laced with something between wonder and disbelief. As if he can’t quite fathom what you’ve done for him—what you’ve given him so freely.

Logan’s eyes search yours, his fingers drifting from your cheek to trace along your jaw, lingering with a tenderness that belies the man he presents to the outside world. His gaze is steady and intimate, as if he’s trying to understand you in a way that goes beyond words. But you say nothing, your heart pounding too loudly in your ears to form a reply.

“You took it on yourself, my pain?”

You simply nod, distracted by the way Logan’s fingers continue to brush along the edge of your ear, tracing the lines of your face as if he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he lets go. 

“Why?”

“Because I want to,” you whisper, unable to resist the pull of his hand against your skin, the warmth of his touch that you feel with every fiber of your being. “Because it’s the one thing I can do to help you.”

A beat of silence passes, the air thick and heavy with unspoken words. He exhales, shaky and deep, letting his hand slide to the back of your neck. The calloused pads of his fingers press gently against your skin, anchoring you in place and you can feel him pull you closer, his gaze dropping to your lips, his breath mingling with yours in the small, intimate space between you.

“I shouldn’t want this, want you,” he says, voice so low it’s almost a rumble. “But, fuck, I do.” 

His confession is raw, leaving him unguarded for the first time in a long time and before he can pull back, before he can throw those walls back up around himself, you close the gap, resting your forehead against his. You bring your hand up to touch his face, thumb brushing over his cheek as you breath him in, feeling the heat radiate between you. 

Logan’s hand slides further along your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair as he finally, gently, presses his lips to yours. His kiss isn’t demanding or rushed or filled with passion, but a lingering connection, the promise of something more. His lips are softer than you imagined, his touch more careful than you expected, as if he’s afraid he’ll break you. Slowly, his thumb traces circles against your cheek, steadying and soothing, pulling you closer. 

When he pulls back, he rests his forehead against yours, eyes closed. His breath is warm against your skin. “I don’t wanna push you away anymore,” he murmurs.

“Good because I don’t want you to.”

Logan lets out a breath, a hint of a smile finally softening his features. 

Reluctantly, you pull away and pick the washcloth up again, intent on finishing what you started. The water turns to rust as you wash him of blood and grime, making sure you reach each cut, each bruise, each scar on his body that makes up the map of who he is. 

You turn off the tap and hand him a towel, averting your eyes as he stands, wrapping the towel low across his hips. Logan reaches for you, tugging on the collar of your shirt to pull you closer. You stumble a bit as he pulls you in, surprised by the insistence in his grip. Logan’s eyes meet yours, an intensity behind his gaze that makes your breath catch.

“C’mere,” he murmurs, hand slipping along your jaw, his thumb pressing against your bottom lip. 

You’re drawn forward as Logan’s lips find yours again, but this time there’s an urgency behind the kiss, a desperation and need he’s no longer trying to hide. He holds your face gently in his hands as he deepens the kiss, his nose pressing against yours, his beard scraping against your skin and you find yourself melting against him.

This is what you’ve been craving since you met him. Despite it all—the rage simmering just below his surface, the sharpness of his exterior, the sometimes shocking callousness of his words—you always knew there was a tenderness underneath, a softness that even his tortured past couldn’t erase. 

Logan’s hands drift from your face, trailing down your neck and tracing along the curve of your spine as he presses you closer until there’s no space between you. The dampness of his skin bleeds into your shirt and you gasp into his mouth when he shifts his hips just enough and you feel heat of his erection against your thigh.

He pulls away from your mouth long enough to husk against your lips, “I’m old, not dead.” His teeth nip lightly at your bottom lip. “I’ve gotta beautiful woman lettin’ me kiss her, what did you expect?”

Your fingers trail along the edge of the towel slung low across this hips and a thrill runs through you as you feel his abdominal muscles flutter beneath your touch. You peer up at him, noting the flush of his skin, the black of his eyes as you tug the fabric just enough to loosen it. “How long has it been since someone has touched you, Logan?” you ask, your breath warm in the space between you.

Logan’s hands urge your hips closer, seeking friction as he starts to slowly rut against your thigh. You hear him swallow as your fingers dip below the fabric, brushing along the damp hair at the base of his cock. 

“F—fuck,” he groans, guttural and low, his head dropping down to your shoulder. “Since before you.”

The weight of Logan’s confession presses into you and in that moment you want to give him everything. Wrap him in all the love you can muster, show him something other than pain and suffering. 

You move your hand from the towel, allowing the fabric to fall from his waist and pool forgotten on the floor. Logan’s breath catches as your fingers wrap around him fully, the heat and weight of his cock pressing against your palm. 

A ragged groan escapes his throat. “Christ,” he mutters, voice thick and vibrating against your skin. “You don’t gotta—”

“I want to,” you interrupt, slowly and deliberately dragging your hand along his length, tracing the vein along the underside of his cock with your fingertips.

Logan’s hips jerk involuntarily, seeking friction, chasing your hand, and you oblige, tightening your grip just enough to elicit another groan from him. 

“What do you like?” The question lands in the sliver of space between you, your strokes still light, teasing.

“Firmer, more ah—” He breaks off as you tighten your grip on the upstroke. “Fuck, yes, like that, sweetheart.”

A shiver runs down your spine as his hands find your waist, fingers clutching at you almost hard enough to bruise. His breaths are growing uneven, each exhale warm against your neck as he fights to maintain some semblance of control.

“You keep that up,” he rasps, lips grazing your ear, “and I’m not gonna last long.”

His admission sends a rush of pride through you and you tilt your head back to look at him, your thumb brushing over the sensitive head of his cock, spreading the wetness there. Logan’s eyes meet yours, dark and heavy-lidded, his expression raw and unguarded. You like him like this, such a large, imposing man boiled down to pure wanton need. 

“I don’t mind,” you reply, keeping your movements steady, your strokes firm yet gentle. You focus on the subtle shifts in his breathing, the way his fingers grip you tighter each time you find the right rhythm. “Just wanna make you feel good, Logan.”

He leans forward, capturing your lips into a kiss that’s both rough and messy, teeth nipping at your lip as his tongue licks into your mouth. He groans are muffled against your mouth as his hips begin to thrust in time with your strokes, his movements growing more erratic as he chases after his release. 

“Can’t believe—ah, fuck—can’t believe how good you’re makin’ me feel,” he growls against your lips.

You smile into his mouth, your free hand brushing along his hipbone as your strokes quicken. His whole body tenses, the muscles in his shoulders and arms flexing, his abdominal muscles taut as he teeters on the edge.

“Let go, Logan,” you say. “I’ve got you.”

With a strangled groan, he comes, his release spilling over your hand, hot and thick. His body shudders against yours as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. You hold him close as he continues to thrust lazily into your grip, your own movements slowing as you guide him through the aftershocks. 

For a moment, neither of you speaks, then Logan lifts his head, his hazel eyes soft as they meet yours. “You walked into my life and I knew—I knew—you would ruin me.”

You smile to yourself, unable to stop the thought that floats into your head—he’s ruined you as well. 

+++

The text comes in at a little over one AM—hurt.

You jump out of bed, adrenaline rushing through your veins as you slip into one of his discarded flannels and head out into the night. Pacing the driveway, your heart jumps into your throat at every passing headlight, your thumbnail almost bitten down to the quick as you wait for him.

The minutes bleed into eternity until you finally see the limo turn down the long drive and it takes all your willpower to not run and meet him halfway. You’re bouncing on your heels as he finally comes to a stop, the driver’s side door opening with a faint groan of steel. 

Your heart stutters in your chest as he emerges from the car, blood soaking through his shirt, dark and spreading, as he steps towards you on shaky legs. Logan’s face is pale in the moonlight, his breathing uneven and shallow and white-hot dread shoots up your spine as you see his arm hanging limp, two of his claws unsheathed and dripping blood.

“Oh, fuck, fuck!” you gasp, rushing to his side.

Logan tries to wave you off, gritting his teeth as he grips the doorframe. “”M fine,” he grits, but the tremor in his voice betrays him. 

You reach for him, hands already attempting to steady him as his knees buckle and he collapses to the ground beneath him. “Careful. Claws,” he rasps as his left hand seeks purchase against your shoulder.

“I don’t fucking care about your claws, Logan,” you snap, although you both know your anger isn’t at him. You glance up at him and for once you think you actually see fear in his eyes. “What happened?”

“Gas. Robbery.” Each word punches out of his chest, the effort to speak sending tremors down his limbs. “Got ‘em.” He nods down towards his limp arm, claws still unsheathed, but slowly, so slowly starting to retract.

He winces as you help him peel off his coat to get to the shirt underneath. Your fingers shake as they trace the holes the bullets made—one in his shoulder, dangerously close to his lungs and the other just below his ribs. Hooking your fingers through the fabric, you rip it from his chest—the wounds are deep and his skin is hot and slick with sweat.

Panic claws at you and unshed tears burn in your eyes. You’ve seen Logan hurt before, but this—this was different. His breathing is painfully shallow, his usual gruffness and resilience absent. 

“Logan, you’re not healing,” you whisper, your voice shaking as your fingers stain with blood. Logan simply grunts, trying to wave you off, but lacking the strength. “I can’t…I can’t lose you. I can help.”

Logan’s eyes widen as he grabs for your wrist. “No. You’ll hurt yourself.”

“I don’t care!” you shout. “I love you, dammit, and I’m not just going to sit here and watch you die!”

Before he can protest, you press your palms over his wounds, the familiar warmth of your power surging through you as it spreads from your palms into his torn flesh.

The pain hits you like a freight train.

It’s sharp and relentless, searing through your shoulder and into the softness of your belly like molten fire. You gasp, biting back a scream as your body jerks instinctively away from the intensity, every cell in your body demanding you withdraw from the torture. 

But you don’t stop. You cling to him, tears streaming down your face as you channel your power into him, knitting his flesh back together. You can feel it, the way his muscles, bones and tissue rearrange themselves, months of healing taking place in mere moments. Every second feels like an eternity, but you refuse to let go.

You’re dimly aware of Logan yelling at you to stop, his own pain momentarily forgotten as he watches you endure his agony. 

Black dots dance in your vision as the last of his wounds come together, the spent bullets clinking to the gravel and you finally collapse against him, trembling, your breath coming in ragged gasps. The fire in your body begins to dull, fading to a cold, hollow ache as Logan wraps his arms around you, pulling you tight against his chest.

“Hey,” you mumble against him, your voice barely above a whisper. “You’re okay now.”

“Me?” Logan’s voice is low, disbelieving as his hand cradles the back of your head as if you might shatter. “You’re the one—why the fuck would you do that? You could’ve—dammit, you—”

His words break off, his forehead dropping to yours as his breath shudders against your cheek. You can feel the tension radiating through him, warring with himself between his gratitude and anger, between his guilt and the love he’s too afraid to speak out loud.

“I told you why,” you answer, lifting your head to look up at him. 

Logan’s jaw clenches, his words caught in his throat, but his eyes say everything is voice won’t. You don’t need him to say it, not yet, but you can feel it, pressing just below the surface.

“C’mon, let’s get you inside.”

+++

There’s a reverence in which Logan washes you. 

Steam swirls around you as he works the thickly lathered loofah over your shoulders, down across your collarbones and down along the soft planes of your stomach. The water rinses away the faint metallic tang of blood, leaving behind the fresh scent of soap. He continues with a silent determination, as if the act of washing you can erase all the pain you’ve taken from him.

You know better than to convince him you’re fine, that the pain is always temporary, that it only lasts for a few minutes, sometimes just a bit longer. That the pain is something you’d endure for him again and again if he’d let you. 

His thumb brushes along the underside of your ribs, searching for a wound you know he won’t find. You reach for him, lacing your fingers together with his. He blinks up at you, hazel eyes holding far too much worry for such a stoic man.

“I’m not going to break, Logan,” you say softly.

A wordless noice escapes his throat as he removes himself from your grasp and continues to work, ditching the loofah in favor of his hands. His fingers are warm and calloused against your skin as they glide lower, down over the swell of your hips, over your thighs, down towards your knees. 

His touch morphs from one of care and comfort to one more sensual, simmering with unspoken tension as his fingers rest in the hollow behind your knee. You glance down at him, water droplets catching in his hair, running off the slope of his nose. 

Though you’ve seen him bare before, you can help but trace the lines of his body—the broadness of his shoulders, the well defined muscles of his chest, the sturdiness of his thighs, the scars that mar his skin. The sight of him stirs something deep within you and you feel your pulse thrum beneath your skin.

“Logan,” you murmur, your voice almost lost in the sound of the water.

He looks up at you then, eyes locking with yours. A storm swirls within them, a mix of guilt, affection and an intensity that takes your breath away. Leaning in, he presses the barest of kisses to the inside of your knee before he rises to his full height, pressing you close.

“D’you mean what you said before?” he asks, voice low.

I love you, dammit!

“Yes,” you answer without hesitation.

Logan exhales sharply, the tension he’s been holding coiled in his muscles loosening as he loops his arms around your waist. “I’m not very good with words,” he admits, his breath fanning across your damp skin. “Can I show you?”

There’s no mistaking the meaning behind his words and you can only nod, your voice catching in your throat. 

His lips find yours, mouth moving over yours slow and deliberate as if he’s savoring the taste of you. The first touch is a spark, the second a fire, and by the third, it’s an inferno that engulfs you both and leaves you breathless. Logan kisses you like you’re his anchor, his salvation, his touch desperate and full of everything he can’t yet put into words.

Your fingers slide into his hair, gripping the strands at the nape of his neck as you pull him closer, deepening the kiss. He groans against your mouth, the sound swallowed in the space between you. His tongue brushes against yours, teasing and exploring and you respond in kind, your nails scraping along his scalp.

Logan’s control is fraying. You can feel it in the way his teeth nip at your bottom lip, the way his hands press along the curve of your spine, the way he can’t seem to find enough of your skin to touch, to caress. A low growl rumbles through his chest as you slip a hand between your slick bodies, finding his cock, thick and heavy against your belly.

You give one slow drag of your palm along his length before he’s gripping your thighs and forcing your legs around his waist. His mouth leaves yours, trailing down to the curve of your jaw as he presses you against the wall, the coolness of the tile a direct contrast to the heat of your skin and you can’t stop the gasp that escapes your lips. 

Despite his age, the metal bones inside him slowly poisoning him and causing him human aches and pains, he’s still able to hold you up solidly with one arm as the other trails along your hip bone and dips down to where you’re warm and wet. 

“This all for me?” he asks in a murmur, sliding a finger along the seam of your cunt, just barely brushing against your clit. 

Your breath hitches and you grip his shoulders, nails pressing lightly into his skin as you nod. Logan’s eyes darken at your reaction, the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Yes,” you finally manage to whisper. “Always for you.”

“Good,” he growls, leaning in to nip at the skin just below your ear. The deep rumble of his voice vibrates through you, his touch deliberate and almost torturously slow as he slides his fingers through your folds, spreading your slickness with a focused and unrelenting precision. 

“Oh, fuck,” you gasp, your head tilting back against the wall as he finally presses his thumb to your clit, circling it with just enough pressure to have your thighs trembling around his waist. 

“I got you,” he coos against your skin, his lips trailing from the pulse point in your neck to your collarbone. His teeth scrape along the curve of your shoulder, his free hand gripping your hip tighter to steady you as his fingers continue to tease and coax. “Lemme make you feel good.”

Every nerve ending is afire beneath him, every motion, every stroke of his fingers against your cunt leaving your mind reeling with pleasure. Your nails dig further into corded muscles of his shoulders, desperate for something to anchor yourself to. You pull back when you see the tiny, crescent shaped cuts marring his skin.

His eyes snap up to yours, sharp and molten. “No, do it,” he urges, fingers still moving. “Mark me with somethin’ pretty.”

“Fuck, Logan,” you gasp. 

“Say my name again,” he demands, his voice rough and commanding. There’s a quiet desperation in his tone, as if hearing it grounds him. Grounds him to this moment. To you. 

You can’t help but obey, whispering his name like a prayer, and he rewards you by slipping one long finger inside you, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure along your spine. Logan watches your face intently as if memorizing the way you react to his touch. When he adds a second finger and slowly begins to thrust his hand, you cling further to him, the heat inside you building to an almost unbearable intensity.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice low and reverent. “You’re so beautiful like this. So wet and warm and tight around me.”

His words barely register in your mind, too focused on the way his fingers curl and thrust inside you, finding that soft spot that makes your eyes roll back. He’s relentless now, his thumb pressing hard against your clit as he brings you closer and closer to the edge.

“Logan, I’m so close,” you whine, your hips beginning to roll against his hand, seeking just a bit more friction, forcing his fingers deeper inside of you.

The tension coiling low in your belly finally snaps, your orgasm washing over you in waves that make your whole body shudder as you cry out his name. Logan holds you through it, his hand continuing to thrust against you as he draws out every ounce of pleasure from you, his own breathing ragged against your skin.

When you finally come down, Logan presses a kiss to your temple as he helps you unwrap your legs from his waist and carefully sets you down, keeping you close. 

You tilt your head to meet his gaze, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw. “I didn’t think you’d be into shower sex, old man,” you tease with a smile.

His laugh is low. “I can make exceptions. I need a bed to fuck you properly, though.” 

“Prove it,” you challenge.

+++

The heat and intensity between you doesn’t diminish as Logan helps you out of the shower and guides you down the hallway towards his bedroom. A shiver of anticipation crawls up your spine as you get closer, knowing that once you cross this line, there’s no going back, that he will have claimed you fully.

You scoot back onto the bed, watching as he approaches you with a fire in his gaze that doesn’t waver. He climbs onto the mattress, knee pressing down between yours as he cages you in from above, gently pinning you beneath him. 

Leaning down, his lips brush against yours, teasing. “Still wanna challenge me, sweetheart?” His voice is a low gravelly growl that sends a prickling rush of arousal down your limbs.

“Always,” you reply breathlessly, arching into his touch as his hands slide down your thighs, parting them with ease. 

His grin is sharp as he leans back to take you in fully and you acutely feel the weight of his gaze against your skin. He traces his calloused fingers over your damp skin, along the dips of your collarbones, under the swell of each breast, mapping the curve of your hips as if committing you to memory. Dipping his head, he leans down between your legs, his beard grazing the sensitive skin of your inner thighs and you can’t help but shudder at the sensation.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful,” he says, almost to himself, his voice dripping with desire. He drags his lips higher, brushing along your damp cunt, his breath hot and tantalizing. “And all mine.”

The possessiveness in his tone has you clenching around nothing, heat pooling low in your belly and your fingers tangle in his hair, urging him closer. But he ignores your silent plea, almost deliberately testing your patience as he kisses you everywhere except where you want him most.

“Logan, please,” you gasp, the ache between your thighs almost painful.

“Patience,” he chides with a smirk, though his own resolve seems to be thinning. His hands grip your hips, pulling you closer before he flattens his palms against your thighs, opening you fully to him. Then, his tongue is on you, lapping at you with flat, broad strokes in a rhythm that quickly has you teetering on the edge.

Logan’s focus is unrelenting, his low growls of approval vibrating through you as he works you over with an enthusiasm that proves to you this is about more than just pleasure—he’s claiming you, showing you just how much you mean to him. Making you his. 

Your thighs tremble around him and his warm, rough hands hold you steady as he slips one, then two fingers deep inside of you. It’s embarrassing how quickly you come as he thrusts his fingers against that spot inside you, your second orgasm of the night crashing over you as his name falls from his lips in a breathless moan. 

Before you can properly catch your breath, Logan is moving from between your thighs, making his way back up your body, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses against your skin. His lips finally find yours in a kiss that’s messy and desperate and you can taste yourself on his tongue, sharp and bright, and the intimacy of it sends a thrill through you. 

“You taste so fuckin’ good,” he groans against your lips, his voice wrecked as he grinds his hips against yours, his cock hard and insistent against your hip. “Could spend the rest of my life between between those thighs.”

“Why stop there?” you tease, your lips tugging into a smirk. “I thought you said you’d fuck me properly.”

Logan’s eyes darken, your challenge seeming to light something dark and primal in him. His grin is all teeth as he sits back on his heels, hands curling around your hips and pulling you down the bed like you weigh nothing until your hips are flush with his. “You gotta mouth on you, sweetheart. Should we see if you can still talk stuffed full of my cock?”

The weight of his cock brushes against your slick folds and you gasp at the sensation, your nerve endings exquisitely sensitive. Logan grips himself at the base, giving himself one languid stroke before running the thick head along your cunt, teasing you with shallow thrusts. Each slow, deliberate stroke of him sliding against you leaves you desperate and aching and you lift your hips in search of more.

“Look at you,” he murmurs. “So needy. Bet you’ll take me so well, huh?”

“Yes,” you breathe, nails digging into the muscles of his forearms. “Please.”

He presses into you then, the stretch of his cock making your jaw drop as he takes his time, sinking in inch by inch, filling you completely. Logan’s gaze is locked on yours, heavy and possessive as he watches every flicker of pleasure cross your face. 

“Fuck” he groans when he’s fully seated against your hips, his body trembling with the effort to stay still. “You feel…so fuckin’ tight. So damn perfect.”

Your hands clutch at his shoulders, anchoring yourself to him as he starts to move, pulling out torturously slow before thrusting back in harder, setting a rhythm that’s relentless and consuming. Each stroke of his hips has you crying out, your body arching into his as you meet him thrust for thrust.

“Takin’ me so well, sweetheart,” he growls, his fingers gripping the flesh of your hips hard enough to bruise as he continues to pound into you. “Like you were made for me.”

The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, mixing in with your whimpered moans and Logans own ragged groans. He leans down, bracing himself on his forearms, the wiry hair on his chest teasing your nipples as his lips find your neck, biting and sucking marks into your skin that feel like promises.

Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him in deeper, your heels digging into his back as the coil inside you begins to tighten once more. He feels it too, the way you body clenches around him, and his pace falters slightly, his breaths coming faster.

“C’mon,” he rasps against the pulse point on your neck. “Wanna feel you come. Wanna make you fall apart.”

It doesn’t take much more—just a few more well-angled thrusts that hit that spot inside you and the tension finally snaps, your orgasm ripping through you with a force that leaves you trembling. Logan’s finesse is slipping, thrusts growing erratic as chases his own release.

“Come Logan,” you manage in a whisper. “Come for me.”

His hips stutter as he groans your name, spilling into you as his body tenses, lazily thrusting against you as he wrings out the last of his pleasure. He stays deep inside you, still for several moments before he shifts just enough to collapse against your side.

For a long moment, neither of you moves, the only sounds in the room being your heavy breathes and the pounding of your heart. Logan rests his head against your chest, heavy and sweat slick between your breasts. You brush at the strands of hair against his forehead before running your finger along the old scar on his cheek.

He lifts his head to look up at you, his gaze soft yet still simmering with hunger. “I do, you know,” he murmurs. His fingers brush idly against your skin. “Love you.”

A smile spreads across your face, warming blooming in your chest.

“I know.”

+++

You wake before he does, rolling over to find him prone, face buried in the pillow he hugs close to his chest. Sunlight filters in through the half slatted blinds, catching on the silver in his hair and beard and you can’t help but admire how handsome he looks, how at peace he is beside you. He’s relaxed in sleep for the first time since you came here. You’ve heard his growls and yelps of terror that echo in the night, seen the claw marks that pierce his sheets.

Your mind filters back to last night and how he looked as he came apart inside you, how desperate and needy he was for your touch upon his skin. The memory of his gasps and groans send a rush of warmth over your skin, making you dimly aware of the ache between your legs. Logan, so guarded, so unyielding and seemingly unbreakable, trembled as he came, his voice rough and wrecked as he called out your name. You shiver thinking about it.

You want to hear it again. But not now.

Resisting the urge to reach out and brush the hair from his forehead, you leave him undisturbed and slide out of bed. Padding into the kitchen, you find Charles sitting in his chair at the kitchen table, the newspaper spread out in front of him. He looks up at you with a warm smile as you start a pot of coffee, the machine humming to life. 

“Ah, I see,” he comments, a smirk tugging at his lips.

You glance over at Charles, his eyes back on the paper in front of him, but his smile still paints his face, sly and knowing. Heat creeps up your neck as you busy yourself with the coffee. “Are you reading my mind?” you ask, trying to force nonchalance into your tone.

Charles chuckles softly and taps at his temple. “I don’t have to. You’re projecting. And quite loudly, at that.”

You bite your lip as you fill your mug, leaning against the counter as the coffee warms your hands. You attempt to clear your mind, trying to think of anything mundane—the weather, baseball, laundry. Charles just shakes his head. “Relax, my dear. What the two of you do together as consenting adults is none of my business.”

“Oh, God,” you groan, your cheeks aflame. “That’s what I’m projecting?”

“Not that explicitly, no. You think more in feelings, rather than words. But they’re quite powerful emotions and rather hard to ignore when they’re radiating as strongly as yours are this morning.”

You bury your face in your hand, peeking at Charles through your fingers, which only seems to amuse him further. “You’re enjoying this far too much,” you mutter. 

“Perhaps,” Charles says with a laugh. “But you’re helping him. Healing him. And that, my dear, is worth everything.” 

Before you can respond, you hear the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the hall. Logan rounds the corner, hair tousled from sleep, his body still bare except for the pair of low slung sweatpants clinging to his hips. His eyes find yours first, softening in a way they rarely do for anyone else as he scratches at the back of his head and mumbles, “Mornin’.”

“Morning,” you reply with a smile, thankful for the distraction. You pour a second cup of coffee and offer it up to him. “Coffee?”

Logan grunts in affirmation, moving towards you, but instead of reaching for the mug, he loops an arm around your waist, pulling you against him. He buries his face in your neck, beard scraping against your skin as he sighs. “Didn’t like wakin’ up with you not there,” he breathes into your hair, his voice so low you almost don’t hear him.

“Sorry,” you whisper. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“S’okay,” he says softly, pressing the lightest of kisses just under your ear. “Next time, wake me.”

Your heart stutters against your ribs at his open display of affection, the softness and warmth in which he holds you, and the promise behind his words. From over his shoulder you see Charles give you a slight nod, a bright smile on his face before he turns his attention back to the newspaper in front of him.

You think back to what Charles told you all those months ago, about how you were a home for Logan. Those words echo in your mind as you feel Logan’s steady weight against you. He’s so different now, soft and unguarded and in that moment you know.

You’re home, too.

[valyrfia]

I think Max will either retire or move to Ferrari in 2027

OUR LESBIAN FERRARI PROPHET SAYS SO? DROP THE TIMELINE

Okay okay anon walk with me.

So I think Lewis is Ready for Retirement. I think he would've retired at Mercedes, eighth championship be damned, if Mercedes had just given him an ambassador contract so he could've used his position and his brand for the causes he wants to dedicate the second half of his life to. As is, Mercedes refused to give him that contract (which, I could go on for AGES about how blindly ridiculous that is and is a clear marker of how far this sport still has to go re: racism)–but Ferrari did.

However, to be a Ferrari ambassador, a 2+1 year race contract accompanies it. Obviously this is a good move for Lewis anyway since it's looking like Ferrari will be one of the quickest teams moving into 2025 and Lewis must have some information on how they might nail the regulation change come 2026, but, and this may be controversial. Charles Leclerc is an established driver at Ferrari, the absolute darling of the tifosi (I mean, he's the second most important person in Italy after the literal pope), and most importantly he's a driver that has not yet hit his ceiling. Now, this is where I tread carefully, but I believe that Lewis, in comparison, is past his prime. Sure, he pulled off an incredible drive at Silverstone this year but he has not been able to match George–and George I believe is currently at a lower level than Charles. I have a sneaking suspicion that Charles is, well, going to walk all over Lewis next year. And if Lewis truly has only moved for the sake of the ambassador contract, he'll break the racing contract after 2 years.

Okay but Ollie is supposedly lined up for that Ferrari seat, and Ferrari NEED an order of succession, so who says that Max will take it?

Red Bull Racing is falling apart at the seams (sorry RB fans). Christian Horner is a power-hungry [REDACTED] who will bring the whole team down with him. The Thai side have never really cared about the Formula 1 team (and I know from Sources, backed Christian Horner in this whole fiasco which is why CH wasn't fired). Newey is gone, I'm sure other key figures will get pinched in the next couple of years, Max has kept everything together for pure skill this past year but the writing is on the wall. I'm going to hold everyone's hands when I say this, but I don't think Red Bull are winning either championships next year....

However, for as much as Max loves to talk about it, I don't think he's actually ready for retirement. I also don't think he'll be the type of guy to retire on a low. Max's contract is until 2028, but he can break it if he drops to P3 in the championship, which, I think there's a non-zero chance of happening in 2026 especially under new regulations/brand new engines.

So Ferrari are likely going to nail the new regs, Max doesn't want to retire on a low, and it looks like Ferrari shopping for a driver and Max wanting to leave Red Bull will line up within roughly the same window.

There's also a couple of sentimental reasons I want to point to. Max (as much as he tries to deny it) is a victim of the old Red Bull Golden Boy curse of being a Ferrari fan. I mean, he literally grew up in the Schumacher era, with his father being friends with Schumacher. He's stated multiple times how if he can't hear the Dutch anthem on the podium he'd like to hear the Italian one. I suspect deep down, he's much more of a tifoso than any of us realise.

There's also the Charles Leclerc of it all. Now really walk with me here because this is tenuous and yes is coming from a known Lestappie (tomato tomato) but isn't really a Lestappen argument.

Charles throughout his entire career has been obsessed with measuring himself up against those who are considered the "best of the best" and showing that he can beat them. He ate Seb alive, he'll likely do the same with Lewis. But both of these are drivers past their primes, at the very end of their lifespans. Charles has still yet to prove he can go toe to toe with a great at their prime and win.

Charles is, literally obsessed, with comparing himself to Max in interviews. Now (RIGHTLY SO) we Lestappies all point and laugh and call him a little obsessed but there's a very real publicity reason he wants to insist to everyone how him and Max were on each other's level in karting–people will subconsciously start to associate Charles as being on Max's level even if he hasn't proven it with championships. It's a very calculated move by Charles, and one I haven't seen many people discuss. Charles wants his name and Max's to be said in the same sentence because it validates Charles' own skill.

But Charles doesn't want to be known as Max's equal, not really, what he really wants is to be considered better than Max. And if he can't do that through number of championships, he can do it by putting the two of them in equal machinery. I think Charles will actually push Ferrari into trying to sign Max, because this is the way he can cement himself firmly as one of the greatest F1 drivers of all time.

So I think a perfect storm of these combination of different factors will result in a Max to Ferrari move in 2027. Obviously all pure speculation, but drawing everything together, I'd give it maybe a 50% chance (providing Ferrari actually do come together which, Forza).

[skipthisvoid]

Alrighty I am going to do my best to explain my thoughts on this-

What Arcane often does is take something that real-life that society is bigoted against and then show the humanity in those same people. This is a type of counter-narrative. This is when the story "presents a different perspective or interpretation of events that directly contradicts your existing beliefs, forcing you to re-evaluate your understanding of a situation or topic."

"They aim to disrupt established stories or viewpoints that might be considered biased or oppressive by offering alternative interpretations. Fields like critical race theory, feminist studies, and postcolonial studies frequently utilize counter-narratives to highlight marginalized perspectives."

(A key example is drug addicts, being set up in the first few episodes to align with the disgust society has for them, only later to twist your perspective around and make you feel like you were wrong. You end up feeling sympathy for them, which brings the watcher to have to rework their worldview for the rest of the show.)

The Undercity in routinely proven to be a place that has incredibly brilliant people, families just trying to get by, etc. but they just haven't been given the same opportunities as topside, so they turn to less desirable means of making a living. Within the series we are often given small pieces of daily life within the Undercity, especially the domestic moments, to make a connection that they are also just people.

Okay onto the brothel- The "goblin" in question is named Babette. We are given our initial "narrative" that she is gross, either because she is a sex worker, she is not a typical human, she is old, or all three. What happens later in the show is that it is revealed not only is Babette the mother of the house and is incredibly important to protecting those who work under her, she also knows the main character's father figure and looks up to him. It is implied there is mutual respect (an implication because at this point in the story, said father figure is dead and can not verbally confirm) between these two important people for the Undercity.

Once inside the brothel, it is shown to be like any other place of business. The workers are professional, the place is maintained well with all sorts of different options for people to pick from, (regardless of gender preference) and if clients treat workers inappropriately, they are thrown out. (Like during the scene in question.) So the first time we see this location, the narrative tells us "oh-ew gross we know that sex work is dirty and bad and the neighborhood is poor so these people are bad and gross" but later we have the counter-narrative of "actually this is a well respected and important part of the Undercity's economy, and the workers here are treated (and paid) well for the service they are providing."

SO when we come back to the original scene, we now align morally with the trans woman and Babette, and also think its funny that this man has gotten kicked out of a well respected establishment. He must have done something without realizing they take the rules seriously, and he won't be allowed back. Sucks since this place is the best in town!

Side note for the "look of disgust" coming from Claggor, the 'main' character mentioned above. Claggor is 14-16 years old. He isn't so much as disgusted as he is just shocked! He also is a very very shy and soft spoken boy. Being in the Undercity, and with Babette being friend's with his adoptive father, he knows what sex-work is. He is shy of it, he knows he is a minor. It is dark and not well lit, Babette might not be able to see him well so she smiles at him anyway. OR, since later in the show we find out she knows his father well, she is intentionally fucking with him knowing he is shy and is gonna be all weird about it. Either way, I wouldn't say he is reacting in disgust. He is just an awkward teen being awkward.

I am torn on the depiction of the transwoman. On one hand, I see how the art they used can be considered a bad stereotype. BUT I do also know someone who is doing the best they can with the body they currently have, and this is what she looks like! And thats also perfectly okay and fine! She exists, thats what she looks like at this point in her life, and she hasn't decided if she is going to make any further changes. (If she wants to speak more on this she can- I personally don't wanna go to deep into it on her behalf.) I think it is working as the same counter-narrative. We are shown this masculine woman who works in the sex industry, and feel the initial reaction society wants us to. Then later, we find out, oh shit, these workers are important and well respected! She is doing a good job for her current situation in the Undercity!

I feel like I am running out of things to say in this very moment but I DO want to also take a second to say we see a different portrayal of mtf transition later in the series. Her name is Lest. The difference here is that Lest is top-side, where there are a lot more opportunities and money. This is apparent in her ability to transition to what society considers "passing", as well as her clothing. She is also voiced by a trans woman! (Eve Lindley)

Blehg I just kinda wanted to spill some of my thoughts over this show since I adore its use of literary devices, ESPECIALLY the counter narrative. I hope this kinda made sense and didn't sound rude at all.

i just did something i promised myself i'd never do and intentionally watched a scene from Arcane, to see just how bad the transmisogynist joke in the first episode is -- and people are absolutely 100% playing it down.

the characters are walking through a dark, seedy part of a city, and reacting in fear to a bunch of scary, dangerous & unsettling things, like a monster scuttling in a cage & vendors selling huge knives, before panning to these two women standing outside a brothel.

the small gremlin lady makes a pass at one of the cast, who immediately reacts in visible fear and disgust and runs away. then, a drunk man wearing no pants is kicked out of the brothel, being told that he has to pay. the woman on the left responds (with a deep, masculine voice) "look at that" and reacts in disgust to him. the crux of the joke here is "haha it's rich that this gross tranny thinks this drunk man is gross, because SHE and her little gremlin friend are gross! lol!".

it is a transmisogynistic joke on the level of the ugly step-sister in Shrek. i shouldn't have to explain this. holy shit.

[r-eatyourfriends-n]

SMOKED | l.hs 이희승 | Collide pt. 2

bestfriend!heesung x bestfriend!reader

READ PT 1 HERE.

warnings: smut (mdni), pwp (plot's there if you look hard enough), unprotected sex, overstimulation (sort of?), no use of "y/n", light switch!dynamics from both reader and heesung, car sex, unsafe driving lowkey, dryhumping, minor argument, heesung is down bad honestly.

wc: 3.8k

synopsis: days have passed after your first hook up with Heesung, though neither of you have said anything about it. Instead, you continue your search for a good one night stand somewhere else, but your mind and body know where you should be.

a/n: wow! the moral obligation I had to finish this before posting anything else was crazy, but after a huge block it's finally here. If you think this is better than pt1 it's because it is, but it's also because it has been approved by the one and only @molloygendered !!!!! my bestfriend and editor. he wanted to review this again before posting it but I'm a kid on sugar so I held him at gunpoint to approve this. any feedback is appreciated !!! hope you enjoy.

4 unread messages.

sorry to bother u so late

can u pick m up? pls

[Address]

idk if ure awake sorry

Heesung's screen lit up on his desk, breaking his focus from the heated game in front of him. He unlocked his phone, the other hand still gripping the controller tightly. His eyes moved quickly from the texts popping up and then back to the screen, which nearly got him killed. 

The team won eventually, but just barely. Heesung logged out as soon as it was over. He spent the whole time wanting to check his phone.

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?”Jake yelled at him through the call. “We almost lost."

“My bad. Gotta go,” he said in a monotone voice, showing no remorse as he hung up the call despite Jake's groans.

He looked back down at his phone and texted back a short "omw" before getting up from his chair, stretching his arms. His bones cracked, so loud it made him wince at the sound.

With quick steps, he changed into something a bit more decent, just a plain white t-shirt on top of his cargo pants, which had been slowly losing their black tone after each wash. The chains on his thick belt dangled as he walked out of his room and began to head out of his apartment, taking his keys from the cat-shaped key holder you had put on his wall. He had been surprised the first time he hung his keys and a white cat popped up. It was supposed to be a prank, but Heesung never found it in him to take it off despite the fact that it didn't match with the overall vibe of his room one bit. The kitten disappeared inside the box as he left.

The distance to your location was short, or perhaps Heesung was driving a little too fast. Either way, he arrived about fifteen minutes after telling you that he was on his way to pick you up. He parked in front of a small, black gate which led to some stairs. The complex seemed fairly little, but somewhat cozy, with small balconies filled with pots and all kinds of houseplants. Although it was past midnight and dark, he could still make out the colors of the flowers that were placed by the edges of the windows, leaves moving along with the wind.

Leaving the car on, he hopped out, leaning back against  the driver's door to wait for you. Admittedly, it was ill-intended. He hoped your date would see him and would be thrown off. 

The wait felt like eternity. When the door opened, your figure finally appeared in a white dress with black dots, just a bit above the knee. The cleavage allowed for the black choker to stand out, your name's initial dangling softly. Heesung had always wished it was an H instead.

You smiled at Heesung when you saw him, tilting your head in confusion because why was he out of the car? Heesung smiled back at you, a soft beam on his lips. Then looked to your side when a boy appeared next to you.

He eyed your guy up and down as he said goodbye to you. He was tall like you liked them, with flawlessly tan skin and a face that was nothing short of charming, with a sort of boyish appeal to him, and it was obvious why you had said yes to a date in the first place. Heesung swallowed hard, his own jealousy burning down his throat.

You didn't seem too enchanted by the guy, though, looking almost uncomfortable as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. You fake-giggled (at least, he thought you did) and grinned at him politely before making your way to Heesung. The guy appeared to be a little turned off by you getting picked up by another man, for he did not take his eyes off of Heesung as he walked to the passenger's seat to open the door for you, a gesture that you were used to. Before hopping back in, Heesung winked at him, a smug grin forming. After that, you two were off speeding down the road. He'll take the long way home, he decided.

“Thanks for picking me up,” you broke the silence after a few minutes of driving. “You didn't have to wait outside though, it's freezing.” 

"I was trying to scare him off,” Heesung chuckled, a half joke that managed to pass as just something playful, making you laugh and hit his arm.

“I don't think he liked that,” you said after your laugh subsided.

“I think it was you who didn't like him.” 

You went silent for a bit, sulking on your seat.

“So, how was it?” 

“I liked him,” you mumbled, biting your lip in thought. “It was good, yeah.”

“But?” Heesung inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“I guess I was hoping for something more... intense?”

Heesung turned his face, pretending to check something on the rearview mirror so that you wouldn't notice him biting his lip. He hoped you were referring to him, about the intimate moment you two had shared a few nights before, about the bite that was still decorating your shoulder so beautifully. A purple light enough to resemble a bruise; poor clumsy you, tripped and hit yourself with his mouth.

“Intense how?” he asked.

“To hell if I know,” you shrugged.

He furrowed his eyebrows, glancing your way quickly. 

“You clearly do know.” 

“I don't. If I did I would tell you, Hee,” you said, confused.

“Like how you told me you were off to see another douchebag?” Heesung spat. 

His words made you quickly turn your head. And although he wasn't looking at you, you knew he could feel your glare burning through his skin. The sudden change in attitude had been nothing short of baffling. He seemed to keep his eyes on the road to avoid your stare rather than for safety. You couldn't tell if bouncing his leg was anger, anxiety, both, or something entirely different.

“How do you know he was a douchebag?! I told you it was fine!” you whined.

“Did he even make you come?” he asked. 

You opened your mouth to fight back, but the only sound that came out was your breath hitching. It had been such a simple question, but it ignited the memories of your one time affair with him. The soft promises, the surpassed expectations, the sweet, sweet release. Your body began to tingle in the places where his hands had lingered, and you found yourself shuddering on the seat. Of course Heesung had asked that, while knowing your answer, too.

“Sex is not all about that.” you said finally, voice low with uncertainty. 

“Oh, so that's why you fuck every idiot with a mushroom cut.” Heesung mumbled.

“What the hell is your problem? You don't even know him!” your ears rang as your voice raised in pitch.

“Oh I know him; clerk job moron who thinks sticking it in is enough.”

You tried to ignore the fact that he was a receptionist at your esthetician’s clinic who you happened to make conversation with during a long wait. He had been bold enough to ask you to grab dinner and two days later you were kissing in the elevator of his one-bedroom apartment. 

That kiss had set your expectations through the roof, hoping that you had landed your perfect match. And it had been nice, sort of, but not like you had wished for, or had imagined. The way you had envisioned things and the way said things happened were complete opposites. Maybe it had been your fault for already having something in mind.

The conflict his words caused reflected in your face, a turmoil evident as you stumbled out your next words.

“I still don't understand why it bothers you so much. I know I'm sleeping with a bunch of idiots.” 

“You're hellbent on letting these assholes touch you.” he grunted.“ I can't stand it, I don't get it. It's pointless, it's…”

You were barely able to make out the words; he was just rambling, or so you concluded.

“How is that your problem?” you cut him off, bringing him back from his thoughts.

Only then, Heesung realized the slip up. Yes, you were right, and regardless of how close the two of you were, it was ultimately your call who you slept with, which bothered Heesung to no end. Why were you so against calling him again? Why didn't you ask to have sex again? Why did he finally have you, only for you to slip through his fingers? 

He hoped you hadn't caught onto it, but you knew him too well not to. Everything made sense after; his seemingly sudden offer, waiting for you outside of the car, this angry fit.

“I said, how's that your problem? What about it?” you pushed, in response to Heesung's answer, which had been silence.

“You can do so much better than that.” he finally said.

“So,” you smiled at him. “Think you can be my better?”

Heesung pulled the car over, so quickly your body flew towards the door, and he almost hit his chest with the steering wheel. His grip on it was tight, and he began panting. You thanked god about the empty, dark road, otherwise it could've ended in a nasty crash.

Both of your eyes meet, his pupils blown out with a hint of a gleam in them. There was hope, a tad bit of anger, and an undeniable desire. His hands were twitching, itching to touch you, and you didn't remember ever feeling so wanted.

Heesung's gaze slowly drifted to your lips, almost involuntarily. Your mouth fell open to breath, uneven and quick. The car was cold, but your temperature went up like a fever.

“Are you going to kiss me?” 

His gaze met yours once more. “Can I?”

You nodded. It was all he needed to pull you in, holding your face with both hands as gently but firmly as he could. Afraid, in a weird way, that you would disappear if he let go. That this was all a sick dream from his hungry mind and that he was soon to wake up alone, in bed, with you far away from his grasp.

Despite how much he wanted to keep it slow, the kiss was just plainly instinctual. It had started soft, as if he wanted it to last forever, which he did. Then it was relentless, like nothing was enough, with your faces pressed so tightly together that you almost felt you couldn't breathe properly. Heesung allowed you a few seconds of air before he was onto you again.

It was hard to keep up with him, but you managed, because this was what you wanted anyway. It was hard to tell if you would ever get to feel something like this again; the desperation, your blood pounding in your ears from the anticipation before he made the move, and your whole body shaking in excitement as if it had a memory of its own, and could recognize the touch. 

“Backseat,” you muttered between kisses. 

He heard you, loud and clear, he just couldn't stop himself. He wanted more. Heesung wanted to do so much with you, and to you, that he was unable to do anything at all. He couldn't bring himself to separate his mouth from yours despite needing the air, and his hands roamed mindlessly and only for the sake of getting a feel. The once deliberate and calculated Heesung was now a wreck in your hands, melting in the heat like a popsicle. Sweet.

But you really had to pull him off, otherwise you'd turn blue. Your nails scratched his scalp as you yanked him back, making him whimper in the process. The way he looked burned in your memory; eyes half-lidded, lips pink and swollen, parted, panting. Even with his eyes nearly closed, you could see his darkened eyes.

“I said backseat, Heesung,” you repeated, letting go of his hair. “Do you want to fuck me or not?” 

In every single position there was. Fingers, tongue, cock, he wanted to give you everything and more, so he scrambled to the backseat as you had ordered. 

This is who you were; demanding and controlling. That one time he manhandled you? Only that, a one time thing, now you wouldn't give in so easily. Not after the little jealousy number he pulled, at least. You weren't all that resilient yourself, but you would drag it as far as you could.

Heesung thought that he had chosen the worst type of clothing possible. Had he kept the sweatpants instead of changing into something else, then maybe the friction would've been more bearable. The rough material of his pants brushing against his cock made him groan whenever he slightly shifted. And when he finally found comfort, you seated yourself on his lap and grinded, hard. 

“Ohfuck,” he whined, his hands flying to your hips to find some leverage. His nails dug into your sides. “You're gonna— I'm not gonna last.” 

You grinded down again. And again, until you set your pace, ignoring his cries. The nails trying to claw at your skin drove you further despite the sting. As much as he tried to slow you down in the name of ‘lasting longer', he still thrusted his hips up to meet you halfway, though his eyes were tightly shut, and lips pressed in a straight line.

“Please, please baby, I don't wanna come yet, please.” 

“Did I just hear The Lee Heesung begging?” 

He looked up at you, teary eyed. His bangs were stuck to his forehead, as sweat had already begun to drip from his hair. That had been enough of an answer.

Yes, you had. It had been about the hottest thing you had ever heard as well. Usually confident Lee Heesung, always took the lead Lee Heesung, would rather die than humiliate himself Lee Heesung, whining and whimpering about coming too fast after some kissing and humping. That same Heesung that had been able to get not one, but three orgasms out of you before even getting close. It was a sight to see.

You stopped, and Heesung sighed in relief, although the calm didn't last long. As a smirk formed on your lips, his eyes grew panicked. 

“If you come, I'll leave this car,” you said, rolling your hips again.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he whimpered. He squeezed his eyes shut again, the shape of his fingers imprinting onto your skin. Back then, when the two of you first had sex, this was the reality of what Heesung felt, even when he did a good job at not letting himself seem so desperate. 

He'd be damned if he looked like a loser in front of you, or so he thought. Because now that your wet underwear was soaking his pants, he was a mess. A hard, pathetic mess, desperately trying not to burst in his jeans from having you on top of him.

You yourself didn't believe you could keep torturing him, only because you were also torturing yourself in the process. His hard length along with the rough fabric of his pants brushed against your clit in a way that sent jolts through your body. It was harsh and uncomfortable while still feeling good enough not to stop.

Heesung's hips twitched with a mind of their own, searching for release against his wishes. You halted, leaning your body back to unbuckle his belt. He groaned at the loss of contact though didn't complain any further, and instead helped you get rid of his restraintments quicker. His breath ghosted over your skin as he sighed in relief, which made you shudder. 

His fingers went down to tease you under your dress, rubbing over the wetness seeping through your panties, and even with the layer in between, he could feel his fingers dampen. Heesung continued until you were left whining and attempting to grind your hips harder onto his hand. Only then did you feel him push the fabric to the side, and the tip of his cock pressed against your cunt.

After Heesung had you the first time, he knew that he couldn't let you go. Days went by where he would still feel your lips against his; the skin of your thighs, hot and sweaty, burning his cheeks as you closed your legs around his head while you came on his tongue. Not one day went by where he didn't fantasize about pushing himself inside you, and in some dreams, he would just stay there. 

But nothing was able to prepare him for when it actually happened. He thought the desperate way in which you lowered yourself on his cock might be too much for you. In reality, it was almost too much for him, as it forced a deep moan from his throat.

It was a little painful, walls tightening and loosening around him to accommodate the quick stretch, though the sting was worth Heesung's debauched expression. You wondered why,despite the uncomfortable, small space, it felt so much better than the first time. Maybe it was how much both of you had seemed to crave it, or the car forcing even more proximity between you two, as the things you could do were limited. Regardless, you could feel your lower region sticky and warm with the slick that had, apparently, dripped out of you and spread around your thighs and ass. 

You could barely hear your over breathing over Heesung's heavy one. His hands massaged the skin of your waist where he held himself, mostly to ground himself to earth, or so you guessed, because he looked completely gone. His cheeks cherry red and his lips a peach pink, and you succumbed to the urge to kiss him. 

This time, it was slow and calculated. He took the time to feel the rest of you, from threading his fingers in your hair, to ghosting his fingers over your spine from under the dress. You didn't fall behind, though, raising his shirt as much as you could to run your nails over your stomach, stopping to feel his muscles tense beneath your hands as you began to move your hips.

“Slow, baby, please,” he breathed out, it came out way more high pitched than he intended to. 

As much as you wanted to keep messing with him, the world had seemed to fade away, leaving you two alone with the car and the small piece of road that you were parked in, and you didn't feel like breaking the moment just yet. You placed your hands on his shoulders for better stability, and rested your forehead on the crook of his neck.

Whispers of praises poured from his lips. You're beautiful, you're amazing, could stay here forever, and another handful that got lost between all the shit's and fuck’s that also came nonstop. He followed all of his words and phrases by kissing your neck, sometimes even biting. You might find a mark when you look in the mirror, but you cared little about that. Instead, you decided to leave a mark of your own, sucking and biting on the most visible place that you could think of. That's when he began to meet your movements, thrusting up messily in an attempt to pick up a pace. 

“Say you're—,” he gulped, interrupting himself. “You're mine.”

“Always have been,” you smiled against the light red bite mark. 

Your voice as you rode his cock kept driving him closer to the edge. Every moan and whine just made him go faster, having already been close to his orgasm from the grinding before. And as you grew tired, it felt as if he was regaining some form of control. Heesung smirked when you laid, practically limp, against him, allowing him to set the speed that he wanted. He remembered that he loved being in control as much as he had loved giving it to you.

“F-faster,” you pleaded lowly.

Heesung pouted, even when you couldn't see him. “No manners, sweetheart?” 

Most likely, you were about to pay a small price for threatening him to leave. 

You swallowed, so loud you were sure he had heard. “Please.” 

“What? I didn't hear you.” 

“Go faster, Hee, please!” you nearly yelled. It had been hard to get the words out after getting him where you wanted.

“There we go!” 

Were you being pushed down on his cock or was he pushing up into you? By this point, you weren't really sure. What you were certain about, though, was that he reached wherever you needed him to, and the squelching sounds were at its loudest.

“Was he good like me?” Heesung asked, grunting through his teeth. “Were you thinking about me while he fucked you?”

He wasn't expecting to get answers, and he didn't. You were too focused on the feeling of your body overheating from the inside out, and all of your muscles tensing. Your walls clamped around him involuntarily as pushed you closer to the orgasm that you had been chasing since the beginning of your date a few hours ago.

Heesung wanted you to finish first, he truly tried, but there was no way to stop the waves of pure pleasure that hit as he came, and the fact that he got to come inside of you just made it hit harder, and you had to help him ride out his climax because he really couldn't move, just kept himself there with his brows furrowed.

You were close as well, so you didn't really stop despite Heesung reaching his orgasm first. Even through his over sensitivity, he helped you reach your own high. He sneaked his hand between your bodies to rub messy circles on your clit. You kept it slow on him, but he went fast. 

It didn't take long for you after that. Feeling you on his cock as you orgasmed almost made him hard again, if it wasn't so late and you hadn't been going at it for what felt like forever—not that he was complaining—. He got to watch your face contort into pure pleasure, better than any daydreams.

Heesung pressed his forehead against yours, unable to do anything other than show you something, whatever that something was. It lingered in the air, in the way he looked at you through his teary gaze. He kissed you, slower than ever before.

Whatever was going through his mind was deeper than lust, you could feel it in the way his lips moved so softly against yours, holding your face with both hands. You wondered if he knew that you didn't plan on slipping away again.

[rosenclaws]

Congratulations on 600 followers!!! 🥳🥳

“We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?”

“Don’t make a mess, baby.”

With Leopold 🥰

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, fem!reader, switch!leopold, kinda exhibitionism, cowgirl, missionary, creampie, praise kink (leo).

600 follower drabble masterlist

wc: 791

a/n: okay hear me out. touch starved Leopold who can't get enough of you now that he's had you once.

He really should feel ashamed. Leopold was raised to respect and care for his partner. To not hold such, filthy thoughts in his head and to feel this desperate. But something about you has changed everything. You first time together was nothing short of magical and now...Well it's all he can think about.

He really does feel bad for constantly wanting to take you in such a vulgar way but he can't seem to help the images that pop into his head. You're at work and all Leopold can think about is how badly he craves your touch.

The feeling of your nails in his hair and scratching down his back. The sweet sounds of your moans and the breathy, desperate praises. He's getting hard just thinking about it. The sound of keys catches is attention as you open the door and walk through.

"Leo the craziest thing happened I-" You don't get another word out as Leopold practically jumps on you. His hands sit on your waist as he pulls you to the couch.

"Forgive me my love." He mumbles against your lips. Only taking a moment to breathe before latching himself back onto you. You drop your bag and curl your fingers into his hair. He shoves off his coat and moves his lips down to your neck.

"Leo," You gasp as he bites into your neck.

"What's gotten into you?" He looks up at you with lust clouding his eyes.

He needs you, desperately. You should feel a little bad for corrupting the once sweet gentleman that Leo was but if you're being honest, you like this a little better.

Clothes are shed and tossed to who knows where. Leaving the two of you naked on the couch. He's sitting down watching you with wide eyes. He doesn't even have the patience to make it to the bedroom.

"We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?” You tease, tilting his head up to see the blush that's creeping up his neck. Kate, Stuart, and Charlie all know where your spare key is which means any of them could walk in at any moment.

"Oh you like that don't you?" You whisper in his ear as you lower yourself onto his hard cock. Leopold's eyes squeeze shut as he tilts his head back. His breaths coming out in short puffs.

"Feel so good Leo." You whine as you move your hips up and down.

He can't help himself as he bucks his hips up to meet your thrusts. You moan loudly as his cock hits deep inside of you every time. His thrusts becoming erratic as he loses himself in pleasure.

He can feel himself snapping, he needs more. Needs to pummel his cock into you until you're screaming his name. He needs you to tell him what a good boy he's being. He wants to ruin you.

You let out a yelp as he switches positions. He's got you pinned down on the couch, legs up on his shoulders as he's pounding his dick into you. His face is twisted in pleasure as he fucks you hard and fast.

"Leo!" You chant his name over and over.

One hand claws at the back of the couch as your other hand sneaks below and rubs your clit roughly. Leopold sees and smacks your hand away, replacing it with his own big fingers. It doesn't take long for him to send you over the edge. You pull him down and hold onto him tightly as you come hard. Your nails dig into his back and the pain makes him come with you. He's quietly whimpering as he thrusts his hips lazily. His cum filling you up nice and full.

"Shit, I didn't know you had that in you." You hum happily as you cup his face in your hands. His hair is sticking to his forehead and his face is flushed red but he still looks as handsome as ever. He groans as he pulls out and you sees his cum drip out of you.

"Don't make a mess, baby." You coo as you swipe your fingers down and pick up the spilling cum. Leopold watches in awe as you stick your fingers in your mouth, swirling your tongue with an evil glint in your eyes.

"This isn't fair darling," He whines as he falls back onto the couch.

"You're far too tempting for me to resist." He mumbles as you crawl over him. You lay your head on his chest as he wraps his arms around you. He sighs as you snuggle against his chest.

"Maybe I like tempting you over to the dark side." You tease. He looks down at you and smiles.

"Perhaps I enjoy it here, especially with you guiding the way my love."

[underoossss]

surprise visit 2 – steve harrington

steve harrington x f!reader | no warnings | friends to lovers fluff | 3k

an: it's been a while since I've posted for steve but I wanted to continue where the last blurb left off, I hope you like this!

<<< previous part

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You remind yourself to breathe at least five times while getting ready. It’s not that you’re scared of going out with Steve tonight, no. This is a good kind of anxiety, a thrumming energy that has you daydreaming while you put on some mascara and makes you hold your breath in anticipation. It feels like something new is happening which is why your hearts been in a frenzy all afternoon. Mostly, you just want to see Steve again; there’s no joy like the one you feel with him nearby.

You look at the clock on your nightstand and move to grab a bag and some essentials to bring with you. Money, keys, lipgloss fit neatly inside before you make your way downstairs. It’s 7:25 which means Steve will be here shortly.

As if conjured by your mind, his car pulls into the driveway the moment you get downstairs. He’s quick to run out of his car and jog up the driveway to ring your doorbell. Your stomach somersaults in place as you look down at your clothes —a cute dress styled with a sweater and leggings to fend off the cold. Then with a deep breath you walk to the door and open it to find Steve beaming on the other side.

He looks beautiful and pink cheeked from the cold November air. His hair is perfect like always, so is the smile he gives you when he meets your eyes. The hand he runs through his hair the only clue that he’s feeling the same nerves accelerating your heartbeat.

“Hi Stevie.” You breath out.

“Babe, you look beautiful.” He smiles, pulling you into a big hug. You shiver as the cold air outside clashes with the warmth you can feel through Steve’s jacket. His arms are around your shoulders, his green bomber jacket smells as wonderfully as he does.

“ Thank you.”  You murmur as you step back;  feeling  shy under his observant gaze but glowing from within at his compliment. “I like this jacket on you,”  You grin loving the way his eyes soften

“I’ll wear it more then.” He winks before offering his hand to you. “Come on, let’s get you out of the cold.”

Your hands tingle where you touch and you can’t help but smile widely at the way Steve seems to feel it too. You separate at the passenger door which he opens before joining you inside. “It’s a little early but I wanted to avoid the line at the concession stand.”

“I don’t mind that it’s early.” You glance over at him. “You can tell me what you did while I was away, I doubt it was as uneventful as FV.”

“Mustache dude wasn’t eventful for you?” He jokes, making you roll your eyes.

“Sure, Stevie.” You concede, then shove at his shoulder lightly. “Come on.”

“Okay, I tell you one thing and you tell me something from your family reunion.”

“Deal.” You offer him your hand and steve takes it with his free one; then  shakes it once but doesn’t let go. “You start.”

“Okay…” Steve draws out the word, recalling something to tell you. “Oh, Dustin tried to teach me that dungeons game; didn’t work out.” There’s a smile on his voice that brings forth one of your own.

“What why?” you turn slightly on your seat, curious to know what happened.

“Blame Henderson. He didn’t explain the rules well enough then complained I wasn’t playing right.”

The outrage in his voice makes you laugh, a full belly laugh that has you leaning back on your sit. Steve’s hand tightens its hold on yours, like he’s happy he made you laugh. “Learning a new game is always complicated, I regret it the moment they explain the rules.”

Steve laughs. “Oh I regretted it alright. Come on, now you tell me something.”

“Alright, I… almost broke my arm?” You say tentatively, flinching at the memory. “I was climbing a tree and–”

“Babe, why were you even climbing a tree.” Steve’s eyebrows are knitted together in concern. “Did you get it checked?”

“Stevie, I was just so bored!” You groan, staring at the car’s ceiling for a minute. “My older cousins started climbing this tree in the backyard and I tried to, but I lost my footing.”

“And you fell on your arm?” Steve asks, worry pouring out in every word.

“Yeah, but I got it checked out by this doctor my aunt knows and he says it’s okay.” You reassure him, turning sideways to face him again. “It doesn’t even hurt.”

“Honey.” Steve sighs, his eyes glancing at you. You meet them with as much reassurance that you can offer.

“I’m okay.” You whisper, smiling at the furrow of his eyebrows. And because you can help it you hold both of his hands in yours. “Don’t worry. Now you say something else.”

Steve shakes his head, kissing your hand before nodding. “I spilled Keith’s coffee the other day at work.”

“Did he kill you?” You ask with a frown knowing Steve’s manager isn’t very fond of him.

“Sadly, yes.” He nods, keeping a serious face for a few seconds before you laugh and he starts to laugh with you. “You missed the funeral.”

You shake your head, reeling back your emotions so they’re not so easily read on your face but unable to keep it from coating your words. “I missed you, Steve.”

Out the corner of your eye, you see the drive-in theater in the distance when Steve looks at you and smiles; a soft thing you realize is just for you. “I missed you too.”

There are already many cars at the drive-in when you make your way into the lot. There are fairy lights hanging from the trees, a concession stand, the big white screen and a marquee showing the romcom double feature. Dirty Dancing and The Princess Bride.

“Stevie.” You turn to him as he drives to a secluded spot. “I love these movies!”

“Babe, I told you they were playing your favourites.” His smile is beaming, pleased with his idea of inviting you before he gets out of the car to open the door for you. You shiver as you step out but Steve’s quick to throw his arm around your shoulder. His warmth is immediate, and you don’t feel as cold while walking to the concessions stand. “Don’t tell me you didn’t believe me.”

“I did but I didn’t know they were from my top three!” You look up at him, feeling happier than you can put into words. “Thank you.”

He shakes his head, opening his mouth to say something until the lady at the counter calls both of you to order. Like he said, there are barely any people buying popcorn yet. “What do you want, babe?”

“Popcorn and soda are fine.” You say after looking at the menu and smelling the buttery popcorn in the air. “You?”

“The same.” Steve nods, then turns to order. He looks at you again as the lady, Jade as her nametag reads, gets to work filling a popcorn bucket. He sees the way you shiver because of the weather and wraps his arms around your waist. Your chest is pressed flushed to his, and you have to look up to meet his eyes. “You don’t have to thank me for the movies, you know I’d do anything for you.”

Cold suddenly forgotten, you feel a rush of warmth flood you from head to toe. It makes you melt against Steve’s touch and focus only on him. The warm lighting from the concession stand making his eyes sparkle beautifully and you become extremely aware of how close his face is to yours. Then his hand brushes gently against your cheek –just like yours had done earlier in the day– and you’re not sure how this is all so easy between the two of you. Easy to be so close, easy to get lost in his eyes instead of looking away, easy to lean closer because his gaze drops to your lips.

It's also easy to forget you have an audience.

Until Jade clears her throat loudly, looking impatient for the two of you to pay and get back to the car. It makes you laugh, not feeling embarrassed as Steve kisses your temple instead and lets go of you to reach for his wallet. Once he insists on paying and leaves Jade a tip inside the tip jar, he takes your hand with a smile and leads the two of you back to his car. You don’t know what to say, you’d been so close to kissing him you’re not sure you can speak. So heart hammering inside your chest you lean your cheek on his shoulder, silently communicating your affection and hoping Steve knows what you mean.

He's careful with the popcorn bucket as he opens the door for you again before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. A few moments later, warm air begins to flow out of the vents and you make sure to warm your hands in front of them.

“That better?” Steve smiles at you as he sets down the popcorn on the dashboard and makes sure it stays put.

You nod silently. Nerves take over you again but you push past them. “Stevie?”

His answering hum tells you to go on, so you do. “Is this a date?”

Steve’s lips part in a beautiful smile, its charm tuned down by bashfulness. It makes your heartbeat settle into a steady pace as you smile back. “It is.”

“So what happened back there…”

“What? Me wanting to kiss you?” His voice is lower now, the simple mentioning of the kiss changing the air between you. When you nod, he reaches for your hand. “I’ve been…”

You squeeze his hand when he stops himself, encouraging him to talk to you because your brain has turn into a loop of his voice saying: Me wanting to kiss you.

“I’m crazy about you.” He shakes his head, eyes turning soft as they never leave yours. “And I’ve wanted to tell you so many times, but I didn’t know if I should.”

“What changed?” You ask, a whisper between the two of you.

“The way you looked at me changed.” Steve smiles, moving his hand to hold your cheek. “It was the same way I look at you.”

You look away in embarrassment, but he brings your gaze back to his with a gentle touch. “Four days away from you and I forgot how to hide that I’m in love with you.”

“I’m glad you did.” Steve shakes his head beaming before his eyes flick down to your mouth. “Because now I can stop hiding it too.”

His words fill your stomach with a million butterflies, and your fingers tingle in anticipation. Steve leans closer to you, until your breath mingles between you, until the thrumming of your heart is so loud, he’s sure to notice. He hesitates, meeting your eyes in a silent question.

You smile, heartbeat calming down. This is Steve, your best friend, the one you love and as it turns out, loves you back. “You can kiss me.” Your voice is a quiet whisper but it’s enough for Steve to close the distance between you and allow your lips to meet for the first time.

The first brush of lips is so gentle it makes a pleasant shiver go down your spine, a shaky breath leaving you. Steve feels it and his thumb caresses your cheek just as softly before he moves his hand to your jaw as he kisses you again. This time though, he presses against your lips a little harder than before, angling your faces to kiss you better and open you up to him. He licks your bottom lip, humming in appreciation when a noise gets caught in the back of your throat and one of your hands goes to his hair.

And just like earlier, it’s easy. Easy for him to make you melt against him, to feel his emotions pouring into each caress of his mouth on yours. Easy for Steve to know exactly how to kiss you, scrape his teeth against your lips and smile against the corner of your mouth when you do. It’s better than you could’ve ever wished for; new but still familiar. It leaves you dizzy but happier than you’ve ever been.

You’re so lost in each other you don’t realize the first movie has started to play until you part and see that your faces are both illuminated by the big screen in the front of the lot. It brings a laugh out of you and soon enough Steve is laughing with you. You’ve seen Dirty Dancing enough times to know it only just started playing, so you turn to Steve.

“We haven’t missed much.” You inform him, beaming at the way his lips look very much kissed.

Steve shakes his head, like he can’t believe what you’re saying. For a moment you think it’s about the movie but soon realize he’s just feeling the same bubbly disbelief you’re feeling too. “You’re so beautiful.” He says, voice soft and eyes adoring.

You smile, feeling shy but too joyful to look away from him. Not knowing what to say and buzzing with electricity from his words and kisses you press your forehead against his. “Steve.”

He only hums, eyes closed and nose brushing yours in a silent question. “I know you said not to thank you but thank you.”

He smiles, blinking his eyes open and kissing the corner of your mouth. “I love you, I’m glad it was a good idea.”

“You can never go wrong with a romcom Stevie.”

“More like with your crush on Patrick Swayze.” Steve rolls his eyes, nothing but love shining through them. He motions to the screen as if to prove his point.

You shake your head, not holding back the smile that inevitably comes to your face. You’re on a date, he loves you, he kissed you. By the look on Steve’s face, he’s thinking the same thing. “And my crush on you.”

“Babe.” He Steve groans, looking at the ceiling. “You can’t make me want to kiss you again, you’ll miss the movie.”

“I think you can give me one more.” You lean close, loving the way Steve gravitates towards you. “They haven’t danced yet.”

Steve grins and the second kiss is even better than the first one.  

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I hope you liked this! reblogs are always appreciated

masterlist

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Study Buddy 3

Warnings:this series will include dark elements which may include bullying, noncon or dubcon, or violent behaviour. Mind the warnings.

Summary: a group project leads to a tense partnership.

Character: Walter Marshall

Big thanks to those who read! Feedback always helps inspire and you know I’m always happy to chat about possibilities! Please reblog and comment ❤️

Despite his prickliness, Walter doesn’t shy away from contributing to the work. You watch him thumb through his well-worn copy of the novel, notes scribbled in the margins and tabs stuck to different marks. The only difficult part is making yourself heard. 

“Hmm,” he shifts his chair closer to you, dragging it around the sharp corner, “I like how you worded that but I think you should move it.” 

He points to one sentence then shifts his aim further down. You reread and nod. “I guess that makes more sense.” 

He grumbles. Even agreeing with him seems to disappoint him. You sit back and stretch out your fingers. 

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom quick?” You asks. 

“Sure, down the hall,” he gestures over his shoulder. 

“Thanks, uh, won’t be long.” 

You get up and step around him, his chair leaving only a narrow path between him and the wall. You hook around into the hallway and make yourself as small as you can, afraid to disturb anything. Somehow, you think he’d no if you only dusted off a shelf or tugged on a curtain. 

You find the bathroom and as much as you want to hide, you don’t waste your time. Or his. The quicker this is over, the better. You figure, once you get a full draft done, you can agree to edit in the shared doc. 

You dry your hands with the plain waffled hand towel then flip back the lock. As you emerge, a rattling cough greets you from just beside the doorway. It’s that girl, Faye. His daughter. 

“Ooh, sorry, I wasn’t meaning to...” you begin as she leans heavily on the frame and shivers. She has a blanket around her shoulders as she chatters, he skin clammy, and her eyes about to roll back. “Um, Faye, was it? Are you alright?” 

“Mmmm,” she hums. “Mom?” 

You wince as she murmurs something else you can’t make out. She slips down the wall and you barely manage to catch her. She’s thin but tall. As you hold her up, you feel the heat radiating from her. 

“Here,” you help her through the door and sit her down on the closed toilet seat. She hunches forward and shakes uncontrollably. You touch her forehead. She’s as hot as a kettle. “I should get your dad...” 

“Mommy?” She whines and you flinch again. Walter didn’t mention a wife but she must have a mother, rigiht? 

“Okay,” you turn and search the small cupboard mounted behind the door.  

You take a wash cloth and delicately fold it, then wet it in the sink with cold water. You wring it out and spread it over her forehead. You guide her hands to the edges and have her lean back as her head tips. 

“Stay like that, okay? I’ll be right back.” 

“I’m so cold,” she babbles. 

“I know,” you wring your hand around a single finger. “Um, one sec.” 

You watch her for a moment, making sure she doesn’t slide one way or the other, then leave her. You hurry back down the hall. You find Walter jabbing the keys on his own. 

“Uh, Walter?” You eke out. “Faye uh...” 

“What?” He looks over his shoulder, a crease in his forehead. 

“She’s not feeling very well. She has a pretty bad fever,” you say. 

He sighs and stands up. You back out of his way and let him past. He heads down the hallway and you keep your distance. You stay a few feet away as you watch him approach the bathroom door. He looks inside and you hear Faye’s monotonous drone. 

“Shit,” he growls as he enters. 

You don’t want to intrude. You hesitate, wavering on your feet, then turn back. It’s none of your business. Not until your name stops you. You turn back to the hall. 

“Um, yeah?” 

“Can you come here?” Walter calls. 

It’s not so much a question as an order. You slowly advance down the hall and peek around the frame. Walter kneels before his daughter as she slumps forward and mutters senselessly. 

“I need you to hold onto her or she’ll fall.” 

“Okay,” you move into the tight space and he stands, holding her by her shoulders. You grab her and she leans into you. 

He looks down at her and shakes his head, “goddamnit. I got night shift...” 

His voice trails off and he turns, stepping around you to get to the door. He strides out heavily and you look down at the girl quivering against you. She reaches to cling to the front of your sweater. 

“Do you want some water or something?” You offer. 

“My head hurts,” she whines. 

You ease back and bend to come to a level with her. You stretch your arm across her shoulders to support her. She coughs, “my belly hurts.” 

You sniff. You’re not equipped for this. You have a hard enough time taking care of yourself. 

“Alright.” You take the cloth from her hand. You get her to lean back again and run more water over the cloth. You bring it back to her forehead. “Do you want to lay down?” 

She gurgles and nods. Before you can go get her dad, she latches onto you. She pulls herself up and you can only help. You don’t know what else to do. 

You let her lead you to her room and you get her into bed. You fix the cloth over her head and she moans. You frown. 

“What are you doing?” Walter startles you and you turn to find him in the doorway. 

“Do you have Aspirin? And ice?” You ask. “She needs to stay hydrated. The aspirin should break her fever.” 

“I don’t... know. Maybe in the car.” 

“I have some in my purse,” you insist. “And ice? You have that?” 

“Sure,” he answers as you approach him. He watches you with that stoic sense of disapproval. “I’ll get some.” 

“Yeah, er, thanks.” You utter, confounded how a study session turned into this. 

[lokideservesahug]

Old Habits Die Hard

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Pairing: Jenson Button x reader but focuses on Mark Webber x reader

Warnings: Bit of sexism (because that's reality of women in motorsports), pining, I get to revel in dramatic irony but I'm curious as to what conclusions you draw. Speculation about having children but only a dog is confirmed. One swear word, innuendos.

Notes: I wrote this yesterday + today so it's probably very bad. It still isn't the one I started with but I thought that if Jenson doesn't know events then neither should you just for now! But please let me know what you think of this! Also, this is my 1000th post I believe, so 🥳!

Summary: You and Mark are finally reunited when you're hired as a Channel 4 reporter, Toto Wolff begins to cook up a plan to get everyone's favourite Mercedes driver to return in 2025 and Jenson still doesn't know what these bloody page things are.

Series Masterlist

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~Late 2023~

You take a deep breath before knocking on the door in front of you. You shake your head, you're a multiple time Formula 1 world champion, knocking on the door to the Channel 4 CEO shouldn't faze you. You raise your first but at the slightest touch, the door swings open. You cautiously lean forward and stick your head in the door. "Hello?"

At your words, a young, blonde woman, sat behind a desk shoots up. "Hi, Y/N right?" You smile at the woman and nod. "Hi, I'm Rachel." You hold out a hand which she eagerly takes and shakes. "Lovely to meet you, I hope I'm not too early." She shakes her head. "No, you're perfectly on time. Mr Jefferson is ready to see you now I believe." You nod and thank the woman, and head forwards the door to the left of her desk.

The first thing you notice when you open the tall mahogany door is how bright the room is. The tall floor-ceiling windows allowing a lot of light to be cast on the desk and the three chairs sat around it. As you enter the room, the bald man at the far side of the desk meets your eyes and stands up, gesturing to one of the armchairs opposite him. "Hello, Mrs Button. Lovely to meet you." You sit down and shake the man's outstretched hand." Smiling at the pleasantries. He sits down and adjusts his crisp suit jacket, allowing you to take in more of the surroundings. One key thing that you hadn't noticed yet is the fact that someone is occupying the other armchair. Someone very familiar to you.

You look away, desperate to not meet Mark's eyes. You hadn't seen him in a few years and even though you'd been fine after... that night, the relationship hadn't been the same. What was once a relationship you held so highly, became an existence where you kept to minimal contact after he left the grid, that turned to occasional birthday wished to nothing at all. You focus on your breathing, desperate to not get lost in your thoughts about the Aussie. You don't need to think like that, you've moved on and you assume he has; besides, he was the one that let the contact between you drift away despite your best efforts.

You can all but feel his eyes pulling you to pieces and when he talks in an all to friendly tone, you whip your head towards him. "Hello Y/L/N. Lovely to see you again." And as you look Mark Webber in the eyes for what must be the first time in years, you almost forgot how well you could read him (and how good he looked). You curse yourself for picking up the hurt twinge in the end of his words, hoping that it doesn't plague your mind at a later date (you know it will).

Yet still, you smile at the Aussie to your side, after all this time still finding that his presence brings you some semblance of comfort. "Hey Webber. Gosh I haven't seen you in what? Three years?" He nods, voice still holding a view into his feelings "Something like that. But uh- time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it? Uh, congratulations by the way... On the family." You roll your eyes and try and ignore his voice crack, clearly showing his emotion. "The media love to go wild with that one. No one's confirmed anything. I could have a million cats for all they know and they'd still claim what they currently are."

Mark smiles at the familiarity of speaking to you so freely once again and tries not to notice that you didn't directly adress the family. He decides not to ponder on it too much, the thought of you having such a domestic life with or without the "perfect family" with someone that want him, making him feel a familiar sickness to the stomach.

"What have you been up to then?" You glance at Stan once again, who is sorting through papers, and decide to oblige Mark in the small talk for a little bit longer. "Oh you know, same old really, a bit of racing and testing here and there, travelling, getting older, nothing too exciting." Mark laughs at your words. "I feel that..." Silence envelopes you once again and you're brought back to the memory of the two of you. A place that probably isn't too far from here, 11 years ago. You interrupt the pregnant pause. "Look, I really don't want things to be awkward between us. I know we were fine on the race track after...... that evening but this is different and I don't want things to be uncomfortable."

He nods. "Yeah I dont want things to be awkward. I mean we are both grown adults, I'm sure we can handle working together." You let out a sigh of relief and go to respond but the clearing of a throat draws your attention. You turn to Stan. "So Y/N, let's get straight to the point, there's no need to mess you around. I called you in here because I want to offer you a position to become one of Channel 4's presenters for the upcoming season." Your eyes widen for a moment before you furrow your brows taking his words in. "We need someone that knows the ins and outs of Formula 1. What makes it tick. Someone that can provide insightful commentary and accurate analysis. And we all think that you'd be perfect for the job."

Well talk about an ego boost...

You let his words sink in for a moment before you point to the man on your right, slightly confused. "What about Mark?" Stan lets out a hearty chuckle and grins. "Actually, if you agree, we plan on pairing you up with Mark. Our social media team say that you've been a historically good pairing and will fair well on camera. And having both a former driver and a former WAG's perspective will really make for thrilling entertainment." His words make you freeze.

It's as if you've been submerged by a giant bucket of ice water. Former- you don't don't want to think of what he said. You feel the old media training (or lack thereof) clawing inside you, begging to escape. It would be so easy to just put him in his place... To tell yet another ignorant, knowledgeless power exactly who you were. You breathe in slowly. No, that'll be no good and he's probably confused. Heck he's the CEO for for of Channel 4, who's to say he's even watched F1 before. You try and play his words off with small chuckle - that comes out a bit too dry for your liking -. "I uh, hope I'm not reduced to that these days. I won six times the amount if championships as my husband, if anything he's the WAG." You see Mark shift in the corner of your eye, covering his grin with his hand.

Stan just waves his hand. "Oh well you know, its just a label. It's a selling point, being a former WAG gives you a certain type of insight if anything." You furrow your brows, this time in rising frustration. Is he being intentionally dense? "But I'm a former driver not WAG." You realise how harsh your words come out and try and real your hostility back a bit. "But you are right about other aspects." Stan though, finally cottons on to your growing frustration and holds his hands out in surrender. "Alright no more of that WAG talk, whatever that means." You nearly laugh at the irony but he continues "We value you for your experience and accomplishments, not just your marital status. But that and the clear drive and passion you have for the spirt is why we want you on out team."

You hum, thinking over his words. Well it would be nice to be back in the paddock, however, Jenson would also be there, is that a good thing, who would look after your dog if you were both gone? You shake your head. "How often would I appear, do you know?" "We'd like you to appear on all of our live broadcasts. However, we understand that you do have other commitments so what we usually do is put people on a trial period of six months. You do it, tell us what you think and you can decide the further steps to take from there based on your feelings but also with audience feedback as well." You nod at his words, them seemingly making sense and seeming to be a fair offer.

Well, returning to the paddock doesn't sound all too bad. You'd pretty much ignored its existence since you left, desperate to not get to attached once again and long for the feeling of going 200 mph once more. Your eyes flicker over to Mark. "How often would he appear?" Stan glances at Mark who up until this point had been quietly observing the conversation. "We'd like Mark to appear with you on all if not the large majority of broadcasts. Your individual, personal touches?" He leans back and beings his hand to his mouth in a chefs kiss, making you and Mark chuckle. "You'd have an extra something our competitors don't and we need that."

You nod at his words, well you've always pleased the Mercedes media team in the past content wise so clearly you have something there. "What about Coulthard?" Stan nods, clearly used to being asked this many questions in matters like this. "David is a valuable presenter but after working with us for so long, he wants to take a step back and have a bit less involvement this year. He's not getting any younger."

He holds his hands up in defence "His words not mine." You nod "Well can I think over things? Jenson has his own job at Sky Sports so as appealing as the offer sounds, I'll have to talk to him about it." Stan nods and stands. "Of course, take your time and think about it over the next few days." He hands you a card. "Once you have your decision, we'll be on the other end of this line." You take the crisp card and run your finger over the edge as you say goodbye to the man and give a small nod to Mark.

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~March 2024~

The familiar smells and sounds invade your sense as you make your way to the Channel 4 group in the media tent. You show your media pass and the security guard who clearly recognises you. He nods "Welcome Miss Y/L/N." Your eyes widen slightly as you smile at the man. "Thank you and it's Mrs Button but you can just call me Y/N." The security guard looks down bashfully for a moment as he expression turns more friendly. "Off course and have a nice day Mrs Button." You wish him well and carry on into the media pen. You mutter a short "Miss Y/L/N? Haven't been called that in years." But find yourself bumping into someone's side. "Oh my gosh I'm terribly sorry." A familiar chuckle makes your cheeks warm as Mark just rolls his eyes and guides you to the briefing area. And for the first time in years, it feels like old times.

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The camera man gives you a two minute warning as Mark turns to you. "I'm curious as to how you fare in front of the camera Y/L-Button." You giggle at his words "Oh shush you." Mark just shrugs "What? Old habits die hard, I called you Y/L/N for years, Button is going to take some getting used to." You grin at his words (and ignore the voice in the back of your mind asking if it would take time for Mark to adjust to calling you Webber instead). "You've known me long enough to not need to call me that Webber." He just leans on a nearby pillar and grins. "Well some things don't change whether you like it or not and deep down, you're still the same Y/L/N after all of this time."

You tilt your head and respond in a playful manner. "I hope so. You still as bad at racing as you once were?" Mark feigns being hurt as he clutches his left breast. "You wound me." A distant call for the start of filming cuts across your moment and you take a deep breath in. You turn and face the camera. "I'm ready." You assume that Mark takes his place beside you because when the camera starts a few moments later, you're both ready to go.

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"Now enough of us talking, let's cut to David Coulthard who's currently walking down the pitlane." You breathe a deep sigh of relief as the light of the camera stops. "You alright there, Button? You look tense" You nod. "Yeah, that was just a bit more stressful than I thought it would be... and I thought you weren't calling me that." "Ah you know I'm just teasing. You were great out there, you looked like a natural." You turn to him and are suddenly hit by the realisation of how close your faces are. "Oh, thank you!" Mark notices the closeness as well but doesn't pull away. Instead opting to lock eyes with you and extend the moment further. "Any time. And if you ever need any advice on how to charm the hearts of the viewers. Don't be afraid to ask the master." Mark's smirk makes you roll your eyes. "Oh yeah? And who might that be?"

And not that your proud of it, but old habits really must die hard, especially when you find yourself glancing down at Mark's lips. Mark leans a forward a fraction more as he responds. "Why me of course!" You just raise an eyebrow but the sudden realisation of where you are and how intimate the moment is crashes into you like a ton of bricks. The thought of people looking and the memory of... that evening making you turn towards the camera, ignoring Mark.

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Now the last thing you expected to do on your first day at the team was interview your old boss but you can't say you're surprised. At least it's nice to see your old team principal. "Toto!" You call his name and he turns to you, eyes widening before he hugs you. "Oh hello you, I didn't know that you were doing this now." He gestures to the microphone in your hand. "Yeah, it's a new addition." He grins as you turn to speak to the camera man, his usual strictness being put to one side for a moment, replaced with a hint of warmth and fondness at seeing his favourite driver again (not that he'd ever admit that of course).

"Well it's lovely to see you and you look lovely as usual." You scrunch your nose at the towering team principal, used to his antics over the years. "Oh shush you, I'm not here to talk about joining Mercedes or anything interesting I'm afraid." Toto chuckles but unbeknownst to you, your throwaway comment has just sparked a genius idea inside of Toto's mind that he'd determined to put into action.

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Jenson stands across the paddock, just finishing one segment of the sky sports coverage for this weekend. Gosh it's already a lot and it's only the first weekend of the season. He lets out a sigh and all too easily accepts the welcoming arms enveloping him from behind. Wait- he sharply turns only to be met with your familiar face. He lets out a small sigh of relief and wraps you in a hug of his own. "Hey sweetheart." You breath in the familiar scent of him and mumble into his shirt.

He pushes you away from his chest slightly, careful to still keep you close. "Say again sweetheart, I didn't get a word of that." You roll your eyes. And pick up his hand, playing with his fingers. "I said that I just interviewed Toto and its a weird feeling. Being back in this environment in a completely different way." Jenson just nods and squeezes your hand, understating exactly how the inner conflict feels. "But I'm sure you were incredible at it, as you always are." And as you clearly appear to be excited excited the matter, it just makes the Brit grin. You meet his eyes and sigh, winding your arms around his neck. You tilt your head "Who turned you into a sap today?" Jenson just chuckles yet remains cool. "Well I can't help but also feel happy when I see you feeling so overjoyed." You chuckle and look down, the proud look in his sparkling eyes making you feel a bit shy.

You connect your lips with Jenson's (and silently thank him for stopping in such a secluded place). However, unbeknownst to the both of you, it wasn't secluded enough to shield you both from the eyes of a certain jealous Aussie.

Jenson responds to the kiss by putting his arms around your waist and you feel yourself get lost in the moment. You moan Jenson's name as you become aware if the fact that you should probably be finding your way back to the Channel 4 group but you ca6n seem to pull yourself away.

And in the same way you feel unable to pull away from Jenson's embrace, Mark feels unable to tear his eyes away from the pair of you. Jealousy and hurt bubbling in his get like a hot storm.

You finally pull away and litter a few kisses around Jenson's face "Right, I have to go but I'll see you later and I love you." Jenson grins and pulls out towards him once again. "I love you too but why the rush? Can't stay and spend a few minutes with your favourite driver." You wriggle out of his hold and leave him with a sweet "Oh I didn't know Nico Rosberg was here. Guess I have to find him now!"

Jenson just chuckles and grabs your arm as you try and walk away. The both of you ignoring the influx of sky sports and other media personnel setting up not far from you. "Not so fast sweetheart. I thought I was your favourite driver. Should I worry about being demoted?" You let out a thoughtful hum, the sound making your lips buzz for a moment. "Well, it depends... There is this one old racing driver. He's long retired now. But gosh, he's he's incredibly dashing and handsome. He commentates now but he just gets me so flustered!"

Jenson's smirk parts as his lips breaks out into a toothy grin. "Oh really? He sounds like quite a bloke! Do I need to be jealous?" You raise your eyebrows and nod "Oh yes, I'd leave my husband for him any day!" Jenson looks down in a deflated act. "Oh darling, how could you break a man's heart?" You can't control it any longer and you feel a laugh bubble out of your chest. You try and speak in between laughs but aren't too successful. "Just- If you see him, let him know that I'd love to give him a massive kiss." Jenson, fakes wiping a tear which makes your laugher turn into breathless cackles. "Such a lucky blo-" Jenson can't manage to get much more out before you're smashing your faces together once again. Desperate to not hear his band attempt at a witty come back.

You pull away and look into his eyes, the blue of them catching the light in Such an angle that it makes them glisten. "Oh look." Your soft words make his expression become more lovestruck. "There he is." Jenson grins before you reel back. "Shit... I need to be broadcasting. Now!"

You give him a quick peck on the cheek and rush away. Jenson finds himself grinning and letting out a small laugh as he watches you trail away. Suddenly, a nearby Sky Sports person laughs loudly and at the sharp sound Jenson turns to look at the man. And he could have sworn he hears the worker mutter your name under just breath. His curiosity and desire to defend you get the best of him and he taps the man on the shoulder. "Excuse me, what did you say?" The worker turns, baseball cap on his head casting a shadow over his eyes that is fixed when he looks up to meet Jenson's eyes.

Jenson's tone is firm yet still polite as he continues. "I heard you mentioned someone's name. Who were you talking about?" Now Jenson will be one of the first people to admit that he was good at jumping the gun in his youth. But when someone mentions his wife's name? Well he won't allow anything but praises to be spoken about you and as it stands, the worker might as well be slandering you.

And the ground must be especially interesting because the capped man is finding everywhere to look apart from Jenson's eyes as he mutters a quiet "Mark." Jenson's eyes widen a fraction, not quite what he was expecting but he continues, trying to deem more friendly than confrontational as it stands. "That's a bit random. What about him?"

The worker now picks up on Jenson's interest and lack of ill intent and so continues. He grins slyly and the look makes Jenson feel a bit unwell "Oh I was just making a joke about how I thought your girl was talking about Mark earlier that's all. I thought she had a thing for him" Jenson's eyes widen, that's the last thing he expected the worker to say or for other workers behind the man to hum in agreement with. Jenson tries to keep his expression neutral but he crosses his arms, almost feeling a bit defenceless. "What makes you think she has a thing for him?"

The man opposite Jenson just shrugs nonchalantly. "Well she looked all excited and flirty with him earlier. They were really close and whispering." Jenson feels his heart sink for a moment. He trusts your loyalty of course he does. And he's certainly aware that you're an adult woman with your own autonomy.

Blimey, you were close with Mark first, if anything, Jenson should be happy that you're finally becoming friends again. He ignores a small nagging feeling in the back of his head, knowing full well it's only there because of other people's gossip and falsities. Jenson tries to get an answer pinpointing exactly when only to get another shrug and a generic answer claiming that it's been a regular occurrence over the past few days, in response.

Another man behind the main worker suddenly laughs. Jenson looks at the shorter, clearly younger worker and instead addresses him, head tilting once again in curiosity and confusion. "What?" The younger man just smiled "Nothing! Well I just- I grew up on you lot and for the longest time thought that Y/N and Mark were married so this is just a bit funny."

Jenson just shakes his head, the exchange seeming more and more bizarre as it continues unfolding. Gosh a few minutes ago he was just happily having a quiet moment with you and now he has to put all of these misconceptions about you to rest. Gosh this day is already tiring. "Well Y/N already talks highly of him and when you announced your engagement, like everyone else, I was shocked. I mean at least half of the Internet thought you had a polyamorous thing going on or at least a ménage-trois thing." The first man chimes in again "I mean I don't think Webber would be oppose enough having a piece of th-."

Jenson's glare could kill. Silencing all the other workers that choruses similar sentiments of rumours about Mark objecting at the wedding and other preposterous gossip. He's never known anyone to halt in their words so quickly but at his angry look, the worker realises his wrong and bows his head. Jenson tries to contain his anger at the objectification of you and instead focuses on his breathing (something you've encouraged him to also do in moments of high emotion). Jenson takes a deep inhale through his nose.

"Now if you're done talking about Y/N like that, I hope you can realise how preposterous those lies are. They're just things spouted by people with too much time on their hands and I don't appreciate you feeding into such bad words about my wife like that." As if following choreo, the sky workers nod. The main one holding up his hands, clearly quite ballsy as he adds. "Look I'm sorry man. But you have to admit you'd make a pretty attractive threesome." Jenson just raises an eyebrow and tries to ignore his warming cheeks, not even willing to entertain the thought... Not even for a moment... No, not in the slightest... Well if his brain thinks about it, its just because the worker mentioned it... He shakes his head.

Jenson speaks in a tone that'd be used to scold a child. "And no talk of that please. I'm more than happy with my girl." The man just nods again. Another worker, this time a much taller one puts a hand on the workers shoulder and addresses Jenson. "Sorry man. We'll leave all the stirring to Channel 4." At Jenson's furrowed brow he continues. "Not anything serious, they're just using Mark and Y/N's relationship as a selling point." Jenson just nods his head. Finally feeling more secure in the conversation now. "Yeah, well they love to make stuff up out of nothing."

The group lets out a collective laugh and if you were here, you'd you'd Jenson's look one of a lost puppy. "Oh you poor innocent man." One of the workers laughs "Sorry. You must have never heard of the 'Deleted Pages' that's all." Jenson shakes his head. "The delete- what are you talking about?" Hearing the sincerity of his words, the worker straightens up. "Oh, you really haven't? Uh nothing then..." The camera man calls for the workers to start filming in two minutes and the group begin to scatter. "Wait no, don't give me that. What are you talking about? What are those deleted pages, why are you all acting so weird?" Jenson doesn't have much time to get an answer though before a microphone is being thrust into his hand and he's being forced to film yet another segment.

Now you'd spoken to Jenson before about... that night. Not the ins and outs but now he's left curious. What happened and does it truly mean more than you let on but more importantly, does it have anything to do with these blimmin' "Deleted Pages."? Pages that everyone seems to know of but no one seems to know anything about. Jenson just huffs. Gosh this season really was going to be the end of him, especially if he doesn't find a way to satiate his curiosity.

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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

As always, likes, comments and especially feedback is always welcome! And I'd love to hear what you think!!!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee @thatgirlmj

[nikkalick]

Veilguard Spoilers below the cut. About the Blight, the current state of Southern Thedas, and the Veil…I’ve never made a rant like this so bear with my ramblings, please

I’ve seen so many people say, “We should’ve been able to tear down the Veil” and I feel like I’m going insane every time I see that take like…

MAMA A BLIGHT IS BEHIND IT??!

You think what happened to Southern Thedas was bad this game? You have no idea what’s in store for you if you open up the fucking Veil and let that trickle of Blight become a flood.

Point of Order just to set the scene with how bad the literal Blight is

“They (the writers/devs/Bioware/EA) nuked Southern Thedas so they don’t have to deal with the lore the past content set up there going forward”

Maybe. But also the only other Blight we’ve seen in game was the Fifth Blight. By all accounts a statistical anomaly in how it acted when compared to Blights 1-4. I don’t wanna delve too deep into this because it is so not the point I’m trying to make with this post, but the Architect very much had a hand in waking up Blight numero 5 and very likely impacted it in a way that made it less volatile. Past Blights saw Darkspawn hitting big populations hard and fast. The 5th started slow, in the wilds, at Ostagar. Away from large amounts of people. It is mentioned in DA:O that this Blight “feels different”.

The Blight we see in Veilguard is more in line with the Blights that came before the 5th. Something something the Inquisitor writing “worse than we have seen in living memory” because the only living memory anyone has of a Blight was the one from 20 years ago. Which was bad, but not as bad as they usually are. Veilguard’s is bad the way Blights are meant to be (if not worse because, ya know, the Gods), and it was still ONLY A TRICKLE OF WHAT THE BLIGHT IS BEHIND THE VEIL. If the full force of the Blight escapes the prison/the Fade that’s it. Goodnight to everyone in this world both within and without all of Thedas.

Moving on.

“Solas can move the Blight into the new prison that was meant for the Gods and then tear down the Veil. That was his plan.”

Sorry, did we play the same game? We know what the Blight is now. It’s the last remnants of the Titans. Twisted, broken, angry, nightmarish. It’s all that’s left. All that’s left are the plagued dreams of ancient beings that are so devastated because of what Mythal, Solas, and the rest of the Evanuris did to them with the very dagger we now hold.

I want to take a moment to address that what I’m about to say is said as someone who’s been trapped in Solavellen hell for years. I love Solas and his character, and I believe that yes, he had a plan that would have both moved (or killed) the remaining Evanuris and the Blight to a new prison while simultaneously tearing down the Fade. But if you, like me, wanted to redeem this idiot despite everything, then pray tell how does Solas locking up the Blight offer him said redemption?

How does locking away the only thing that remains of the Titans into a prison and throwing away the key redeem him? The Evanuris fucked up when using the Titan’s, idk…life blood? To take form. Solas fucked up when he, upon Mythal’s behest, created a weapon that sundered the Titan’s (and the Dwarves as whole) from their magic, from their dreams, from their very being. And they did it because they thought they had a right to. They put themselves above the dwarves and as a result they caused the Blight. And then they hid the Blight away. Yes, they hid it away to keep people safe, and yes, locking it and the Evanuris away when they tried to use what was essentially a bio weapon to maintain their position of power was a call that kept people safe for a long time. But the Veil was a consequence of that call. And while the Blight was trapped in its prison, behind the Veil, it got angrier and angrier with every passing generation.

Removing the Veil and shoving it into yet another prison will not only piss it off even more, but it doesn’t allow for Solas to actually atone for the part he played in its creation and the part he played in destroying what the dwarves used to have. He has to uphold the current prison. He has to go to it to try to soothe it. To heal it as best he can. Locking it away elsewhere, and then trying to offer it salvation after the fact? It’s not gonna cut it.

He has to go to the Black City, he has to face what he did, and he has to put aside his favorable bias towards giving the Elves “back what they lost” (a world current day Elves don’t remember and have never known) to instead put the safety and wellbeing of every being in the current world at a higher priority. That’s part of his redemption arc by the way; learning to value the lives of the people that walk this new world he had a hand in creating. Because when he wakes up before the start of DA:I he doesn’t value anyone. Shit, when Felassan declines to help him destroy the Veil and suggests he learns to appreciate the world that has been in place for centuries, Solas kills him for it.

All that said, he can’t fully put things right. He can’t reconnect the Blight with the dormant remains of the Titans. Because, as the game tells us, we’d then be faced with a bunch of Titans the size of mountains rampaging, rightfully so, because of the wrongs that were committed against them. But Solas can put in the work to find a way to ease its agony. And maybe, if given the time and the patience, one day the Veil could come down because the Blight will have had the opportunity and been given the help it needed to actually heal from the trauma that created it. And maybe taking the time to do that will have, in some small way, allowed him to make up for the shitty hand he played in destroying the Dwarves. A race he (finally) sees as his equal. Because that’s a big part of his fucking redemption arc.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Congrats on wrapping up the Cursed Raven Saga!! 🎉 I had a lot of fun reading it. One thing I loved was how Miss Raven has different relationships with every character. A lot of the saga was focused on just her and J Word though so I wanted to ask if you could clarify what her relationships are like with the other characters especially the ones we don’t see a lot of in the saga or not at all. Sorry if it’s a big ask, I’m just curious! You can do just the 22 NRC boys for now if you want. 😊

[Referencing this series!]

AAAAAAH THANK YOU FOR LIKING IT, I'D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY 😭💐

Having a character with very different relationships with the rest of the cast makes them feel more "real", doesn't it? Miss Raven doesn't get along with everyone! I spent a long time thinking about how she would interact with the others in the cast. A lot of those relationships are complicated or change over time, which is why I decided to explain each individual one rather than slap together a quick chart. The NRC students, staff, and a few key characters are included. I hope you enjoy reading ^^

Riddle

They’re very awkward friendly acquaintances. If you asked either one of them though, they’d deny it and instead claim they just have a professional relationship.

They initially get to know each other via dorm meetings (as Raven attends to take notes); Riddle likes that she does her job and stays focused. He sometimes nags his freshmen students to be more diligent and to follow her example.

They take tea together occasionally and complain about the eels. Riddle has to deal with them all the time—one as his classmate, the other approaching him at random, much to his chagrin.

Not sure how to deal with him when he’s mad. Raven locks up out of fear but attempts to talk him back into a state of calm. Sometimes just cowers.

Frequently tells Raven it is “ill-advised” to associate with the twins.

Trey

Acquaintances out of convenience, I’d say? Raven and Trey don’t talk much themselves, but Trey appreciates that she’s Riddle first “new” friend at NRC.

Raven sees Trey has a reliable senpai, but doesn’t really have reasons to talk to him outside of business. She tries not to bother him since it looks like he’s already got a lot on his plate dealing with his own dorm members.

Trey uses her as a waste receptacle taste tester for his latest creations whenever he feels the Heartslabyul boys have had their fill of sugar. “Ravens can basically eat anything right? Here, have some of this then.”

Cater

Calls Raven "Rae-chan".

They’re not close at all, but they’re aware of the other person’s existence. The two don’t vibe so well…

Raven’s an introvert that doesn’t really understand Cater’s sparkly persona and social media obsession. Cater doesn’t get why a cute girl like Raven doesn’t show off more.

Cater isn’t entirely comfortable around her because sometimes it seems like she’s staring at him… It makes him feel like he’s an open book and she’s examining him for flaws or seeking out something more of him. He really plays up his persona around her to compensate and to cover for that.

Ace

Classmates but not friends. He’s more like a bully. Raven tolerates him because they share the same homeroom. She thinks of him as an annoying little brother she has to "model" the correct behavior for.

He’s constantly teasing her for a variety of things: being short, being a brainiac, being related to the useless headmaster, etc. Raven tries to be the bigger person and ignore him, but there’s only so much she can take before snapping at him.

Occasionally steals glances at what she’s writing in her diary or snatches it from her to read the entries out loud. Tells her she has shit taste in men.

Raven thinks she’s more mature than Ace, but Ace sees right through her “lady” act and points out she’s more childish than she’d like to admit. He says she should be more honest with herself, but she never is. She probably avoids Ace if given the choice because she doesn’t like her lies/tsundere behavior being called out.

Deuce

Classmates, closer to being an acquaintance than Ace is. Though they’re not exactly friends, Raven thinks of Deuce a little more positively because it’s usually him who intervenes to tell Ace to “cut it out” or to “leave her alone”.

Deuce looks up to Raven as the honors student ideal. (Raven gets a slightly swelled ego because of this and thinks of herself as Ace and Deuce’s “big sis” figure.)

When he goes delinquent mode, Raven cowers in the corner until he has returned to normal. Can’t totally understand some of his delinquent slang. Probably repeated a few of the phrases to ask what they mean and Deuce apologizes for saying them in front of her.

She once heard that Deuce likes eggs and she looked at him horrified.

Leona

Calls Raven “Canary”. It's meant to be an ironic nickname, since despite her black feathers she tries to be bright and optimistic with him.

They started off having a really sour relationship because Leona has an attitude that Raven finds is difficult to work with. She sees a lot of her old self in him (disheartened, lost, not willing to try) and takes it upon herself to encourage him because she doesn't want to see him going down the same dark path she did. Unfortunately, Leona doesn't appreciate that he's her "charity case" and tends to put up resistance to her efforts.

Raven's REALLY skittish around him since he's a big cat and she's a bird--they're naturally predator and prey.

Leona saw her as super annoying back then; he doesn’t understand why she has so much faith in him when he has given up on himself. This frustration manifests in a few threats which definitely did not help the relationship.

Over time, I guess the two realize on their own how similar they are and they sort of soften up to one another. Leona starts to treat Raven a little nicer and finally acknowledges her for the "lady" that she is. "I can't quite place it, but Leona-san seems to be different somehow," she says. In a good mood + feels proud when she sees him in high spirits.

Raven really praises his intelligence and leadership abilities, but laments that he doesn't use them to their full extent.

They can bond over intellectual activities or something. Chess, reading books, etc.

Still get on each other's nerves by making verbal jabs. I guess that's the nature of a cat and bird, huh... Their relationship is very "Zazu-Scar" and "Beauty and the Beast" coded.

He's aware that she has a crush on Jade 💀 Angsts in private about not being "the one", why couldn't he have had this kind of support earlier in life, etc.

Ruggie

An acquaintance, forced to be cordial with him due to circumstances. Raven's often around campus doing odd jobs for her uncle, and she sometimes bumps into Ruggie (doing his own odd jobs). They chitchat here and there, but aren't super close.

Raven initially views Ruggie as "one of Leona-san's goons", but they become a little more amicable as Raven's relationship with Leona improves. Ruggie now comfortably teases her and commends her for putting up with the demands of their dorm leader.

He was the mediator for Leona and Raven back they didn't get along at all, asking Raven to cut Leona a little slack and telling Leona to lighten up with the birdie.

They share a love for shiny things and have a talent for finding edible plants. Sometimes they trade tips on the latter.

Jack

Raven's scared of Jack based solely on the principle that he looks intimidating. The first time they ever crossed paths, Raven took out her wallet and handed it to Jack (thinking that he was going to wail on her for her lunch money). He was very confused and handed the wallet back to her.

They don't talk. Like, at all. They only communicate on an as-needed basis, and even then it's difficult to get the ball rolling because Raven just freezes up when he looks at her. Jack very much reminds her of the wild predators she'd have to avoid in the forest.

She thinks it's cute when his ears twitch and his tail wags, but doesn't dare get close to him. Would prefer to stand on the other side of the room and shout at him.

... Jack doesn't get why she acts this way, isn't this way of communicating inefficient?

He tries to remain respectful of her since it seems like (in his eyes) she's friends with Ruggie-senpai and Leona-senpai. Wonders if there's something more there that he's not fully getting, but figures it's none of his business to ask about it.

Azul

Thought he was polite at first, but Raven eventually came to understand that his smile is, in fact, shady. She maintains a certain level of professionalism (given that he's a dorm leader), but she's pretty on edge around him otherwise. If he's nice to her, she assumes he wants something or has an ulterior motive.

Azul sees a lot of value in Raven due to her connection with the headmaster. He's always reaching out to her and 'offering" favors or items to get in her good graces. Often is rejected, but man doesn't know when to quit.

Though Raven doesn't like Azul or what he stands for, she thinks the Mostro Lounge is very comfortable and dines there on occasion. (Insists on paying full price when Azul tries to slide over a discount.)

Jade

Her crush

When Raven first arrived at NRC, she got really attached to Jade since he seemed like a kind and reliable gentleman. They had a falling out (after Raven learned that Jade was sent by Azul to manipulate her) and have been on rocky terms since. Unfortunately, a (very stupid) part of her is still attracted to him, though she strongly denies it.

He derives a lot of amusement from her overreactions to little things, like having their fingers brush against one another.

Raven keeps Jade at as much of a distance as she can. Sadly, he keeps popping up in her life (all orchestrated coincidences) to charm her. She convinces herself that he doesn't actually like her and that these are all calculated moves to get back on her good side.

Many of their interactions devolve into bickering, with Jade teasing her and Raven trying to fire back with something witty.

They're curious about each other's home biomes and true forms. Back when they were friends, they'd teach each other many new things on those topics.

Very vengeful towards those who are "too cruel" to Raven (because only he's allowed to be that mean to her :>). Offers to "take care" of them for her. She tells him not to, but isn't sure if he actually listens to her.

Floyd

Calls Raven “Black Pearly”/“Kuroshinju-chan”. Normally Floyd nicknames people after sea creatures--and notably, with Raven, he calls her an inanimate object from the ocean. This is intentional (from a meta perspective), as it highlights that Raven is an entity that doesn't quite "fit" within the school and the story.

Raven's not a fan. She can't deal with Floyd acting so unpredictably and rashly. He's such a headache, why can't he at least PRETEND to be polite like Jade does? (This comment really pisses Floyd off and makes him stomp off.)

He thinks she's boring but keeps starting shit to see if she'll react if he pokes the right buttons.

Makes fun of her because he sees her crush on his twin is sooo obvious. Doesn't understand why she has to overcomplicate things by hiding how she really feels. "Just do it already."

Kalim

Friends! But in small doses. Raven gets tired being with Kalim, who’s always so friendly and energetic, for extended periods of time. Cares for him in the same way a big sister might for a younger brother, even though Kalim is in the higher grade level.

Showers her with gifts, especially foods. He shows her his menagerie and encourages her to try petting tigers or something 💀 Kalim had a big heart and shares a lot of what he has with her.

He listens to her worries about connecting with others and fitting in. Not good at wording his advice, but encourages her to keep trying and that he’ll always be there for her!

Raven finds Kalim’s cheer refreshing but worries that people could take advantage of his naïveté like she was (by Jade). Tries to protect him from shady types of characters.

Jamil

Not exactly friends, but they see each other and immediately see the tired mom energy. There’s a mutual understanding between them.

Raven takes shifts with Jamil to help Kalim with his assignments. Helps keep an eye on his dorm leader when he’s up to his neck with other tasks. It’s like they’re coparenting 😭

She often finds herself staring at his hair accessories. When she was less accustomed to human life, she yanked on one of them and earned his ire for the next several weeks. Jamil has cooled off since then, but he’ll bring it up subtly if he’s annoyed with her.

Vil

Calls Raven “Shetland potato”. (Yes, I know Shetland is an irl location that doesn’t exist in Twst; just assume Shetland is an old fashioned way of saying Shaftlands/it’s a variety of potato from the Shaftlands.)

She approached Vil first and nervously asked him for etiquette lessons (since she wanted to know how to be more human and “ladylike”), which he agreed to. Vil’s pleasantly surprised that she had the agency to seek self improvement like this, so now his expectations of her are set really high.

Raven admires Vil’s mastery of potionology and tries her best to emulate him in the lab. Her technique is a little clumsy, but her heart’s in the right place. She also loves his sense of fashion since she lacks the confidence to pull off the daring looks that Vil does.

He’s like the stern, icy older brother she never had. Vil doesn’t go out of his way to help her out (he wants her to learn to fend for herself), but he’s there if she needs advice or help dressing for an occasion.

One of the few guys she can go to for “girl talk”. Raven tries to keep who she’s talking about vague, but Vil always sees right through her and tells her it’s a poor choice.

Rook

Calls Raven “mon petit oiseau”. Later on (like, after Raven becomes more confident in her identity), he'll switch over to the nickname "Conteuse des Corbeaux".

A good friend! If not a little too over eager. Raven was definitely put-off but him at first, but he grew on her over time. She loves listening to him wax poetic; it inspires her in her own creative endeavors—and his cheer is so infectious!

They share a love for the arts and sit around trading their takes on the latest movie or play or art piece they saw. Sometimes he reads and offers critique of her latest work.

Lives for the tea. Besides Vil, he’s one of the other guys Raven can talk to about love. Problem is, Rook is content watching her try to find her way (there’s something romantic about it!) and vaguely encourages her to “follow her heart’s desire”.

Tries to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe too much. (“I-I’m sure Rook-senpai has a perfectly good reason for breaking into your dorm room to leave a rose on your pillow… r-right?”)

They sometimes whisper stuff to each other in bird.

Epel

Epel has beef with her cuz she's a raven (aka one of those pest animals that wreak havoc on his village's crops!). Stares at her from a distance with kind of a grumpy face.

He doesn't really act on that beef because Vil will whoop his ass for being rude and provoking a fight with his peer. If he's in a situation where he has to talk with Raven, Epel will do his best to put on that soft, sweet polite facade that Vil has taught him.

Raven has zero clue what Epel's saying when he speaks in his accent. Asks him to repeat himself, which annoys him.

Idia

Raven thinks he’s basically a ghost that haunts Ignihyde. Does that guy ever go out and get sunshine??? (Raven thinks that, but she’s a hypocrite because she also holes up in her room… writing…)

Doesn’t really have an opinion of him since he’s so withdrawn and they barely interact. However, she doesn’t like it when he acts all high and mighty about the media he consumes. Raven thinks it discourages people from giving the media a shot because he’s making it seem so unappealing.

She also thinks his laugh and general presence is

a little eerie. Maybe she’ll get cursed if she bathes in his negative miasma for too long.

Even though they don’t know each other irl, I think it would be funny if Raven posted her writing online and Idia was one of her biggest fans 😭 Like this guy religiously likes, comments, and shares every post…

Ortho

Calls Raven “Raven Crowley-san”.

They’re friends! Little buddies experiencing a lot of their firsts and exploring the world and its oddities together.

Ortho is very pragmatic while Raven has a big imagination and tends to daydream. They balance each other out well.

He tells Raven about his older brother (which is how she first learned about Idia’s existence.) “Eh… Ortho-san, you have a difficult sibling like that…?” She feels bad for him 💦 but respects him for having the patience to deal with that.

Ortho thinks Raven’s an interesting subject to observe and gather data on. It’s not every day that he gets to do this! He’ll be sure to collect accurate readings on her.

Malleus

Calls Raven "the young Crowley".

Because Malleus is often missing from dorm leader meetings, Raven has to either go fetch him for them or deliver the meeting notes to him. He’s thankful for her help but doesn’t engage with her outside of these instances.

Raven is pretty neutral about Malleus?? She respects him and all, but doesn’t get involved with him more than she thinks she should. Malleus is the same way with Raven; he doesn’t think much of her beyond her duties.

Malleus was slightly amused by Raven standing up to him during GloMasq; he announces his intent to strike Rollo down but Raven insists they hear him out. Since then, he’s kept an eye on her and wonders if she’ll have the audacity to do it again.

I imagine that Raven goes to Briar Valley to serve as a royal scribe or messenger for Malleus in her fourth year internship. This would lend them a Maleficent-Diablo dynamic.

Lilia

Acquaintances, mostly because Raven communicates with him about dorm leader meetings or sometimes passes meeting notes to him if she cannot find Malleus herself.

He commends her for being a bright girl but thinks she could make do with loosening up a little. Takes delight in popping up out of nowhere to spook her.

Believes that Malleus and Raven are friends. (They’re not.)

Lilia jokingly asks his boys who they think os cuter: Raven or him? It’s definitely him, right? 🥺

Raven has the inkling that Lilia is a lot older than he seems just based on the stories he tells when he has the chance to. She loves listening to them and dreams about traveling to those places too.

Silver

Friends, but not right away. Raven used to be scared of Silver because he looks intimidating when he stares at you. Still, she feels oddly drawn to him anyway. It must be his princely aura drawing in all the local wildlife… including her 😭 For a long while, she just observed Silver from a distance.

Once she learns Silver’s actually very normal and even sweet (most likely from the neighborhood birds), Raven settles in nicely by his side. For example, she might work on writing while Silver dozes off beside her on a warm afternoon.

Models some characters in her stories off of Silver. He’s so gallant! (Raven complains that the other NRC students should be more like him. Silver doesn’t understand what she means.)

He’s dense, but he’s a good boy. Will help her grab or carry things she can’t on her own. However, Silver is useless with other matters. Like if he sees Raven and Jade bickering, Silver will intervene and try to help “sort out the misunderstanding” so they can all be friends.

Sebek

(Loudly) calls Raven “Bird”.

Frenemies…? Sebek talks down to Raven and demeans her like he does many of his peers, but sometime around GloMasq he came to the conclusion that she must be a long lost relative of Malleus's and develops a sense of respect for her. Since then, he has been acting like an eager puppy that trails after Raven and says/does things in hopes of earning her praise.

Raven is confused by his shift in demeanor and wonders why he's suddenly being so nice to her... Not that she's complaining, but it took a while to get used to.

She's still a little intimidated by his looks and loudness.

Book buddies! They give each other recommendations and discuss their latest reads.

Crowley

Calls Raven “my adorable little niece”, sometimes “Raven-kun”.

He's your typical bumbling/silly but well-meaning father figure. Irresponsibly offloads many of his responsibilities onto her. She also often serves as a messenger to Yuu on behalf of Crowley. Usually apologizing for him.

Not above using Raven to make himself appear competent to potential sponsors and donors. Crowley uses a combination of fake tears, bribes, and flattery to get her to act in his favor.

Despite this, she cares for him and he cares for her too. Raven just wishes Crowley would step up sometimes!!

Crewel

She’s scared of him, especially when he raises his voice (even if the scolding isn’t directed at her). Works hard in his class to avoid his ire.

He sees a lot of potential in her, but dislikes that Raven lacks a spine. Crewel often picks on her in class in an effort to get her to be more confident in herself and to learn how to speak up.

Trein

Raven likes Trein! He provides her with a sense of warm and grandfatherly comfort. She's never had a grandpa before, so she considers Trein something akin to that.

Sometimes stays after class to ask questions or just to chat with him. He appreciates this since some of the other first years act out or don't have an interest in the subjects he teaches.

Trein keeps things professional; he feels that a teacher and a student should remain in those roles and not cross those boundaries. However, he lets Raven know that if she needs any guidance, his door is always open. Maybe that's his empty nest syndrome speaking.

Lucius

The one cat Raven isn't immediately apprehensive about, if only because Trein reassures her that Lucius is gentle.

He chills in Trein's lap while they talk.

If he's in a good mood, he might bat a paw at her or let Raven stroke him. She calls him a "very good boy".

Vargas

Slightly intimidated by Vargas's physique and gung-ho attitude. She admires his enthusiasm for self-improvement, but isn't so sure about his methods.

He doesn't let the fact that she's a girl deter him from pushing her hard! If anything, Vargas declares that she has to work two times as hard to prove herself and build some muscle! Raven always leaves his class hugging and puffing, sweaty, and red in the face... but also feeling super proud of herself.

Traumatized by that one time she witnessed Vargas down five dozen raw eggs for breakfast.

Sam

Business owner and customer--there's nothing more to it than that! Sam sees Raven as a particularly valuable customer due to her need for specific ingredients to concoct her enchanted inks. Occasionally puts aside a rare find and lets her know about it for a good deal.

Raven's thankful to Sam for filling in the ingredient gaps for her. Though, uh... she begs of him to stop placing bets with her uncle about whether or not he can buy out his stock.

Yuu

Cordial enough classmates. They're in the same homeroom which is convenient for when Raven has to pass messages or tasks from Crowley to them.

Willing and able to help Yuu out whenever they ask for it.

[Insert other information as desired; varies widely depending on what kind of Yuu features here.]

Ramshackle Ghosts

Raven greets them like they're her friendly neighbors.

The ghosts treat her like that nice Girl Scout from down the lane that stops by every so often to offer them cookies.

Grim

Brings a tuna can as a peace offering. Pushes it to Grim using a stick. Makes him promise to not bite her or set her on fire. Raven walks on eggshells around him.

Grim is mildly insulted by her acting like he's a monster. "I'm a civilized mage too, yanno!!" (He eats her peace offering anyway.)

Neige

Raven mostly knows him from all his appearances as a celebrity. Doesn't think much of him other than "oh, he's cute" or "he's like a fairy tale princess".

Upon welcoming Neige to NRC for the cultural festival, she's surprised to see him being so princess-like in person as well. To Raven, Neige almost doesn't seem real.

Neige gives off a very inviting aura that makes Raven feel welcome and comfortable in his presence, even though they just met.

He'd treat her as he does all of his fans, in a very sweet and pure manner. Might be interested to know that she's a raven; Neige could think it's cool or invite her to join in on their song since ravens count as a songbird. She gets embarrassed and says she can't possibly do such a thing.

Chenya

Another cat boy? Big nope for Raven. Her bird instincts are shouting at her to keep away. Chenya's a lazy sort of cat, so he seems fine to be around (especially since Riddle and Trey vouch for him). They're basically strangers though.

Raven stares at him as he picks up a slice of cake and chomps through it, then asks for seconds. Her only impressions of him are that he's sneaky and kind of a glutton.

Chenya thinks Raven's sorta funny. He teaches her some bad cat puns and asks her a variety of nonsensical questions just to see how she responds.

Loves spooking her by appearing out of nowhere or poking her while he’s still invisible.

Cheka

Calls her "ojitan's friend". Cheka is 100% convinced that Raven is besties with Leona.

She thinks he's a lost child and takes him by the hand to take him to help him reunite with his parents. (Cheka thinks Raven is a lost child too.)

He's a little ball of fur and energy! Cheka runs all over the place and wears Raven down real fast. She's never been so eager to hand the kid off and be rid of him (though she tries her best to smile and wave good-bye).

Rollo

HE HATES EVERYONE, INCLUDING RAVEN.

... But Raven doesn't want to give up on him! She insists on being his pen pal and keeping in touch, since she feels that a large part of why he broke down was not having people to talk to or to support him. Rollo's forced into this situation... but no matter how often he tells her to quit this, she won't let up!

He finds her extremely bothersome, of course. (Rollo won't admit that there's sort of a comfort in including this in his routine, that it's nice to have somewhere to vent and let loose his bottled rage.)

At some point, he extends the offer to listen to her woes about the NRC boys, whom he is certain are sin incarnate.

What? No, they are NOT friends. Absolutely NOT. (His aide and vice president think they are.)

Fellow

Calls Raven the “lil’ lady” of Night Raven College.

Picks on her. Steals her food, takes her books, etc.

Such an ass-kisser (he's hoping to get sympathy and then leech resources off of her). Gets Gidel to play along with his schemes too. Alas... Raven does, in fact, feel something for their situation.

She's highly suspicious of him. Doesn't like it when he acts overly familiar and touches her on the arm or shoulder... or cocks that smug, suspiciously crooked smile.

Raven likes it when Fellow allows his inner child to come out; it's nice to see that he's still able to keep dreaming as an adult, she thinks.

Gidel

To Raven, Gidel's some kid that Fellow strings along in his schemes. She's much more forgiving of him compared to Fellow and does her best to read his body language to understand what he's trying to communicate.

Gidel's curious about her. She's a scholar, right? Wow, he wants to know what that's like! He just kinda stares at her with big, eager eyes.

Skully

He acts like they’re BFFs but Raven tries to keep him at a comfortable distance. Skully (wrongly) assumes that she's his ally and will agree with him on everything.

She thinks that Skully acts and talks like a character from a fairy tale, but in practice she's a little put off by how touchy-feely he is. Raven will let him kiss the back of her hand, but when he's not looking, she'll gently wipe it off on her skirt.

She'll happily sit there and listen to him ramble for hours about Halloween and the traditions of his village. Raven loves a good story!

She acts as the mediator when Skully butts heads with other people about his hyperfixation and idol. It's not very effective, but someone has to do it.

[mimikyuno]

🫧🎀🎨 ENA5 WISHES AND PREDICTIONS🎀🎨🫧

ena meets yuuki. I genuinely always found it a bit strange how in the latest New Year’s event yuuki meets kanade and mafuyu and not ena. when ena has been the person closest to mizuki in niigo (as she’s the one who is waiting for mizuki to open up, while knmf have no idea mizuki is even hiding anything). so like. i genuinely think yuuki will be involved, to an extent. maybe she comes back bc mizuki’s parents are worried and call her back to japan and she meets ena, or maybe ena somehow manages to contact her and the two have a chat. idk. anyway i think yuuki will be involved in ena5, or at least in the resolution of mizuki’s struggles.

ena goes absolutely insane. i rly want to see ena lose her mind lol. like we know she’s obsesses with mizuki and loves her so so much. she saw her looking sad one (1) time and has been on her ass since. as established in the escape room, she knows her so well. when they were going up the roof, she kept making jokes trying to ease mizuki’s anxiety. she loves her so so so much. and she probably currently hates herself for not being able to stop her. so yeah, i cant wait to see her go on a one woman mission to get her mizuki back. i want to see her desperate. sorry not sorry

kanamafu struggle in the dark. this is connected to above, but i feel like ena would be too scared to ask anyone for help. mizuki was outed to her, she wouldnt do the same. and while ena has asked for help about mizuki in the past (for example, asked shizuairi and meiko), i feel like this time she’ll keep quiet, or ask just meiko. and kanamafu will know something is very, very wrong. and so they’ll try to reach out and understand what’s wrong and meet walls of silence. i want them to finally see that mizuena have had this secret hanging between them for so long, and i want them to also be there for mizuki after the main resolution. i want cozy niigo loving and accepting each other 🥺.

meiko is a key figure. i ena knows meiko suspects/knows about mizuki. so meiko is literally the only person (outside of yuuki) that ena can go to for advice. i want meiko and ena and kaito to talk and maybe even fight a bit and try to find a way to reach mizuki and fix the situation.

mizuki is acknowledged as a girl. this is more of a hope than a prediction but i hope that mizuki’s transness will keep being handled with care. i would be happy to see them avoiding cliches such as “i care about you no matter what gender you are” bc mizuki’s crux is the fear of change, change in niigo’s perception of her as just a girl, and not a “trans girl” or “not rly a girl”. so i want ena to acknowledge this directly. somehow. idk how but i need her to tell mizuki nothing’s changed in her perception of her. she’ll always be mizuki.

DATE. okay like. i know many think that SEGA is gonna drag this out for storytelling + financial reasons. for example, i saw ppl speculating that kanade5 might happen before ena5, so that kanade and mafuyu can learn what is happening. at first i lowkey agreed but tbh i dont think they’re gonna drag it out this much. like, not only is mizuki is a fan favourite and keeping her in this state for so long is… a bit questionable, but also there’s concerts coming up? and they cant keep her depressed much longer when that means they won’t be able to use her or ena AT ALL in any mixed event, which doesn’t make much sense imo. i genuinely think they might wrap this up before the movie drops tbh. it probably wont be wrapped up super neatly and there will still be stuff to discuss (maybe in kana5 or in the niigo 6th rotation) BUT things will be fixed enough that mizuki can go back to smile and appear in the real world and have a spark in her eyes BEFORE the movie (january 17th, 2025). i genuinely thought we would have ena5 BEFORE the 4th colorful live (bc like. how can mizuena be so depressed in game and sing on stage together? like yeah the lives are not rly canon but the VIBES. the VIBES!) which will be held december 13-15 and again january 24-26 (2025) but uhmm. i feel like we would have gotten an announcement by now if ena5 was rly coming in the first half of december idk. still possible since there’s an upcoming livestream in like 19 hours but. uhm. idk. sega PLEAS-

CARDS. I remember someone pointed out how mizuki has had zero 4* cards in any ena focus event, to show how she's keeping her distance. as such, i really think that ena5 will be The Event in which mizuki will finally feature as a 4* card. honestly im hoping for a very gay matching card (anhane style in an4... pls sega...) but that's just me coping lol. anyway my card prediction is ena 4*, mizuki 4*, meiko 4*, kanade 3* and mafuyu 2*. though tbh there was already a VS 4* in mizu5 (kaito), so maybe they'll make meiko a 3* and have a 4* of kanade or mafuyu. honestly, even luka might appear in the lineup. haven't seen anyone mention her but she and meiko have been the two VS closest to mizuki when it comes to her secret and her tendency to run away. so maybe a luka 3* or something.

COMM. okay i have no idea about this imma be honest but. i am hoping for a producer who can put forward heartfelf lyrics and melody. lowkey hoping for mafumafu (as he has already proven he understands mizuki and ena's relationship with cellphone lovestory). copium in immense quantities but niigo has covered quite a few pinocchiop's songs but have no comms by him... he's one of my favourite producers and his lyrics always kill me so i know his ena5 comm would be devastating. but honestly both mafumafu and pinocchiop feel quite unlikely, so maybe TOA (who already composed IDsmile and twilight light and has made tweets during mizu5) or wotaku (since gehenna is so intrinsically connected with the mizuena storyline). or imagine maretu... iyowa... eight... teniwoha... aaah... endless possibilities... but yeah it could be anyone lol, the names i mentioned are more hopes than predictions, i'll be fine with anyone as long as the song fully captures mizuena's relationship.

[gwenyundreiko]

I need to scream about Arcane S2 (spoilers for the whole season)

Alright, it's been 2 days since I've watched the end of Arcane, and I'm still in a bad mood over it, so I am going to scream into the void about it, and hopefully it will allow me to move on.

I do not like the second season of Arcane.

Season 1 ? Absolute banger, still love it. I love it even more after recently watching it a second time in preparation for season 2.

Season 2 though ? ... I will not go into the details (because I feel like I would need to rewatch it again to be more accurate, and I don't want to do that), so I am just going to write about how I feel about it now that it is over.

Season 2 has left me deeply unsatisfied, to say the least. I think this feeling comes from the fact that most characters' arcs look like they were either cut short, or didn't really go anywhere. This makes the entire story feel pointless; an undeniable marvel of aesthetics and animation put in service of nothing.

I could talk about a lot of the main cast, but I'll only talk about Vi, her relationship with Caitlyn, and the Zaun vs Pilltover theme.

First off : Vi, the character who fought tooth and nails for those she loved and always tried to do the right thing. Accepting responsibility for everyone who looked up to her... and got nothing for it in the end but pain. From the start of the serie, she is set up to be one of the protagonists, along with her sister and Caitlyn. Yet the story feels pervert in the way it insists to both :make Vi suffer without giving her any sort of confort or moment to express her feelings ; and make all of her actions be pointless.

In episode 8, when she says "I always make the wrong choice and lose everyone", we have to admit that from a narrative point of view, she is absolutely right. For the first time, Vi is self pitying. She's shown as vulnerable, doubtful, almost sounding like she's giving up by saying that all she ever does is useless or worse. This is incredibly out of character for her, and yet the story proves her right. Nothing she does matters in any meaningful way. She doesn't even contribute to the final battle : she gets stranded in the defence of the artillery tower (which turned out not to be a key asset in the battle), then go 1v2 Warwick with Jinx, and Jinx ends up sacrificing herself to kill it, but only AFTER the battle is over and all the narrative tension has calmed down. (Sidenote : yes yes I know it is hinted that Jinx is still alive, but still. Let's agree that it's in bad taste for a suicidal character's triumphant moment to be a reckless act of self sacrifice, independently of the outcome.)

Vi gets mistreated throughout the whole storry and gets nothing in the end despite her bravery and efforts. No matter how hard she fought, she still ends up separated from her sister and she still loses Vander. The only thing she gets in the end is a girlfriend with whom she basically had no tender moment since their breakup, making Vi feel like a rescue dog at Caitlyn's house, but let's talk about her relationship with Caitlyn in more depth.

I'll say this first : I love the sex scene. It's tender and passionate. It's a bit awkward, but in such a relatable way that it only makes the moment sweeter. It does an excellent job at showing us how the characters feel about each other. Taken on its own, it's perfect. Two people that love each other so much they just need to have each other right here, right now... I just wish their relationship around it was more fleshed out.

From what we get to see on screen, they get a really messy break up in episode 3, and then never interact again until crossing paths at the commune. In the meantime, Caitlyn has allied herself with Ambessa, declared martial law on Zaun and is oppressing it with the full extent of her legitimate violence... but upon seeing Vi again, she instantly switches side to go against Ambessa with a rushed plan.

We get absolutely no other insight into their emotions or thoughts at this moment. No scene to show that despite their conflicts and standing on opposite sides, there is still tenderness and affection between the two of them that could hint at them getting back together. Instead, Vi calls her a petname once, and it's done, no further convincing needed. (Sidenote again : this makes Caitlyn look impulsive and irrational, when everything that comes before shows us that she is smart, collected and patient. Here, she instantly abandons everything she was previously fighting for, even at the risk of putting her entire city in danger. This includes abandonning her vandetta against Jinx, which is the reason why they split up in the first place, but this isn't adressed between Vi and Cait ever again either.)

After that, Vi holds her accountable for her actions for the time of 1 dialogue.

Then they barely interact again until the jailcell scene. Hell, once the battle starts, I don't think the two of them interact AT ALL until the epilogue.

The lack of substance in the portrayal of their relationship makes this sweet and tender sex scene feel like a spur of the moment thing. An almost self-destructive action from Vi trying to scrape at any possible source of confort after being cut out by her sister. A good thing happening for the wrong reasons. (Mind you, a hate sex scene would have worked wonders in my opinion, but that's not what we got.)

So yeah, given all of that, I'm struggling to see how Vi ending up with Caitlyn is supposed to be a meaningful and happy resolution to her story, when this relationship is barely shown on screen during season 2.

Finally, let's talk about the Zaun vs Piltover situation : it goes nowhere.

An entire 5 acts showing us that Piltover treats Zaun like shit, turning it into a ghetto and leaving it to rot in its own misery . The promo campaign for season 2 teased us a revolution... and in the end, we barely see any change. The way the story resolves implies that now that Zaun and Pilltover have triumphed over a shared ennemy, they grieve together and make peace because they have learned that war comes at too high a cost, and Zaun gets to be represented by ONE councilor.

I'm sorry but either the show tried something and missed, or the show was just incredibly shallow from the beginning. This conflict was set up from the first second of the show by having the main characters be orphaned by cops in a popular uprising which only looks more and more justified as we learn more about Zaun. That is to say that Topside doesn't care about Zaunites. From what we can tell, Heimerdinger has been leading the city for 300 years, and he discovers just now that Zaun has problems ?? Piltover prides itself for being the city of progress and equality, while exploiting the misery of the people that are LITERRALY BENEATH THEM. It's the final shot of THE FIRST SCENE IN THE SHOW, the topside people are sitting ON TOP of Zaun, reaping the benefits while throwing their wastes at them.

I think there's no better illustration for how Piltover considers Zaun than the scene where Jayce announces to the Council that Silco has demanded independance. All the councilors lose their shit. They are OUTRAGED by the demand. Clearly, Piltover considers Zaun its property. People to exploit, whose need and misery they can ignore, and ultimately, a problem to be solved through the police by having them arrested/beaten up/killed.

So either the show was indeed trying to tell a story about class struggle and oppression, and failed to deliver a satisfying conclusion; or the show was only interested in the appearance and flavor of class struggle only as a vessel for the cliché of "the cycle of violence". Which hmm, yeah it's 2024. I don't think anyone needs me to write an entire section about the necessity of fighting for human rights and resisting oppression.

I could have talked about how pitfighter Vi was 60% of the promo for Season 2, and yet was done and gone in a minute, which was also what we got with the promo, or how a French animation studio decided to call an independant, pacifist and egalitarian community " The Commune" (if you know you know); I could have also talked about Jinx's character, and how the show portrays her self healing from her devouring guilt, but I'll stop rambling here. I hate that I have wrote this, because I don't want to spread negativity. I'd rather spend this kind of energy on things I love.

The thing is, I really really wish I enjoyed Arcane season 2, because season 1 means a lot to me. Vi's character awakened something in me. It is representation I never knew I needed and it changed me. I know this sounds silly. It's only a fictionnal story after all, but it helped me grow into a better and more hopeful person. In the end, I just feel like season 2 went too far too fast, and left me behind to try and pick up the pieces of my expectations. If you've made it this far, I sincerely thank you, and I hope you have a beautiful rest of the day.

[whomstress]

Bunnydoll Boxer au chapter Final Chapter

Decided I'm just going to post the link and then my fic in the undercut from now on but anyway go read there or here! Au once again by @burrotello

“What the hell is wrong with you? Jax, put me down now!” Ragatha had been yelling at him non-stop since he took her over his shoulder from the gym going God knows where. "Jax, are you even listening to me? Let me go!”

She’s settled, just kicking her legs, as she is now less over his shoulder and more being swinged by her legs upside down, and the more she struggles, the more he lowers her. Ragatha, on her part, has yelled every threat over her shoulder, but with him practically running, she’s mostly just trying to keep from getting a concussion from being shaken and hit around like a sack of potatoes.

She notices a familiar hallway giving up halfway through and just trying to balance herself. Her hand slides through the thick hair on the back of his leg, and she hears him grunt. Her constant care for others overwhelms her by saying “sorry” and soothing the area lightly with her fingers, forgetting for a moment she was angry.

But she instantly regrets it because as soon as she pressed her fingers through the fur and pressed soothing circles where she scratched, he stopped still knocking the air out of her with the sudden movement and straightened his back. All the hair on his body pricked up like a porcupine, and he repositioned her so her waist was back over his shoulder and looked at her straight from that position, eyes dark and an unreadable face. “NEVER do that again, Ragatha.” This more shocks her than anything, so she nods out of politeness, unsure what to say with him looking this intense inches away.

He looks at her a little longer, and she could swear he almost moves closer, but then his eyes quickly dart around, and as if he finds what he’s suspected, his eyes go harsh. She follows them to one of the many cameras in the fight club. The only place that didn’t have them were the rooms. 

Wait. She looked around and noticed they were on suite floors. The big purple jerk took the stairs, she thought, so he could purposely bump her head around. Which, to be fair, was probably a big reason as well, but the stairs were also one of the only areas not bypassed by a key. Some places you had to be a certain rank or start a minigame first to enter, but stairs could also be used for training, so they were free access for anyone. Which also meant bypassing certain locks.

He wasn’t taking her to the champions suite, was he? Only new and past Champions were allowed in there! This was against the rules! She looked at a door the size of the hall, covered in plush red and outlined with gold. "Hey, hey, hey! I can’t go in there, you know that!”

“So?” He says, waving his hand, and the door opens. 

"Jax, let me go. I could lose my minigame privileges, and oooooh, you get a cheese fountain!?” 

Ragatha temporarily stops trying to kick a dent into his chest and eyes the room five times the size of hers. Everything top-notch C&A brand. There’s a table just full of food, all diet-specific; he must be on a protein load right now from the look of it. It all looks and smells amazing. Every water is bubbling, and he has a huge sofa and TV for himself, and there is not a speck of dust anywhere. "Woah,” Ragatha says in pure wonder.

“Sweet, right?” He says all the pride puffing straight from his chest, but he is still moving forward, keeping Ragatha in the corner of his eye. It’s been a while since he’s seen her genuinely this excited. He forgot how she practically glows when she’s happy like this. Maybe he’ll let her stay after his business is done. If she begs, “Oh right, begging!”

“Huh?” Ragatha snaps out of it, and she’s brought what’s clearly the bedroom of the suit; his clothes are all around, and there’s trash on the floor. She sees a huge circular satin sheet-covered bed, and he’s getting closer to it, and danger sirens start going off in her head. Her mind starts to race. Beg? What does that mean? And what does that have to do with his room? With his bed!?

Her face explodes into red as he tosses her on the bed and moves to tower over her. He wouldn’t…? No, this is Jax. Her mind is going a mile a minute, and she doesn't know how to process anything, as this seems like the exact scene from one of her ahem, spicer books. Where the protagonist is cornered by the monster and taken into the night.

His eyebrow hitches, and he laughs, "Wow, you look like the little white lamb caught by the big bad wolf. Well, too bad after that little stunt today you’re going to regret what I have in store for you. I’m going to make you scream.”

He leans closer to her, and her body reacts before she can think logically about it; she screams like a girl in a horror movie and kicks Jax straight in the face, sending him flying back into his dresser. “F#CK!”

Jax was holding his face in his hands and groaning while Ragatha huddled to the back of the bed, holding up a pillow as if it were a weapon. “Stay back, you pervert! I’ll kill you with this! And make it look like an accident!”

Jax spits out blood, and Ragatha would normally be concerned if he hadn’t driven her partly insane already by all today’s antics. “Whose exactly a pervert here? The girl is screaming like a princess while kicking me harder than I’ve ever been in the face over with whatever is in your sick little head. Or the person that didn’t actually do anything.” He rubbed his face and gave her a hard glare. “News flash, sweetheart, can’t be a damsel in distress while also sending me flying like an actual monster.”

Ragatha huffed and crawled toward the edge of the bed and pointed at him with the pillow, “Me? The monster? You’re the one who threw me over your shoulder and carried me to your BED and said you were going to make me scream like, like, like some animal!”

Jax lets out a groan louder than her yell with what she’d say was the eye roll of the century. Really, she thinks his eyes actually went to the back of his head for a second. “I was talking about the bet you stupid boar!”

"Boar!?"

"Yeah, boar hits like a train, stubborn as a bull, dirty-minded little pig?”

“SHUT UP JAX!” Ragatha was angrily blushing, now sensing her mistake but not in the mood to be the bigger person. Maybe she needed to stop reading vampire novels, but it’s not like she was going to tell him that.

“But you know, Ragatha, it’s interesting that such a strong girl like you wants to be taken over by a big bad man.” Ragatha scoffed hard in disgust, and he moved forward again, brushing a loose lock behind her ear and pushing her buttons further as he teases her, “If you wanted someone to ravage you in the night, you only should’ve asked.”

In Ragatha’s seething anger, she doesn’t even try to hide the hate in her voice as she leans closer to him. "Sure, Jax. Give me his number if you find him. It might even make you less of a whining little baby seeing what a real man looks like.”

Even Ragatha is shocked by what just came out, but she keeps a hard glare at him, and he keeps his until a dark chuckle escapes him and he smiles at her like a manic. She crosses her arms to show she’s not impressed. He turns around, and she wonders what he’s up to before a kick lands straight to her face, knocking her back.

Her teeth clatter when she hits the floor and she gets up. “Are you insane!?”

"Oh, I’m sorry, Dolly! Is it suddenly not okay to kick people in the face out of nowhere because it’s you?” He does a couple stretches as he moves closer to her, and Ragatha kicks aside some of the clothes on the ground for room, getting ready in perfect fighting stance. It’s not the ideal place for a fight, but she was just as much of the fight club as anyone else, and the best way to let off some steam was a flurry of fists and kicks, and the way they were both past the boiling point, it’s a wonder the sprinklers hadn’t gone off.

There’s not a second after he reaches her; he throws a jab, and she avoids it, and he quickly pivots and goes for a hook to the head. She blocks it with a smirk and a huff of a laugh. He frowns, and where his fist is still hard against his block, he opens his hand and yanks at a handful of her hair. “HEY!” Ragatha calls out, but he won’t let up laughing his ass off at her squirming to get out of his freakishly long fingered grasp. Seriously, he’s got to have half of her scalp. 

But his height advantage and grip on her head gave him leverage to shake her around like a child trying to get the last quarter from his piggy bank. ”Not so tough now, are you little lady?”

He was obviously having fun shaking her around, and in her annoyance, she spots his arm moved directly in front of her face, and she does something so childish and low that only Jax could ever make her do so. She jumps forward and takes a large lick out of his furry, sweaty arm, and he snaps back, tossing her like she just stabbed him. His face is completely flabergasted looking at her like she lost her mind. “Did you LICK me? What are you, 5!?”

"Worked, didn’t it?” She said laughing, and he just stood staring at her in awe, but before he could make further sense of anything, she kicked him hard enough in the shin that he went down to grab it in pain.

She took the opportunity to jump over him, showing off her parkour minigame skills, and book it for the door. She turns back to stick her tongue out at him, and he physically growls; that’s a new one she quickly notes as he chases her. Ragatha’s almost at the door, jumping over the couch, but her giddiness comes too early as something hits her on the back, knocking her down granting her a face full of high end carpet.

“What the?” Ragatha sits up from landing on her face to see what hit her; it was a folded piece of cloth, and when she opened it up, it had a picture of him winking and shirtless with his stage name on the bottom. Her face turns to disgust and she looks at him smugly holding a t-shirt gun, humming happily to himself. 

“Is this supposed to be merchandise? Who in there right mind would want this?” Ragatha asks incredulously. 

Jax smirks, “I’ll have you know all my fans love this shirt. Tell you what you can keep it; it’d look good on you! Nice sleek black, so it goes well with anything. Or nothing at all.” He winks at her before firing another shirt directly at her face.

"Ugh, will you stop that?" She throws one of his 5 million fancy bubbly waters at him, which he easily dodges. She completely forgets leaving as she starts circling the room with him throwing all of his stupid champion perks at him and him dodging and taunting her the whole time.

“Will you-” She throws a bubbling water, “stay,” then a candle piece too nice for him to appreciate, "still,” and finally part of the couch cushion. He’s laughing at her the whole time, only making her more angry. When she grabs something and watches him freeze, like she just reached in and grabbed his heart straight from his chest or something. She looks down at her hand and feels the hard metal in her hand. It’s a champion belt, but an old one. They redesigned the code for it years ago, so it doesn’t even look like this on any posters anymore.

It looks like the ones Kinger used to own. She rubs a thumb over the old logo. It was calmer then. Less fighters. Less code. Things weren’t all money hungry and all for one. Jax still got this by cheating for sure, but it’s probably the one the least. He only started getting so obsessed with staying on top once he won his first championship.

When he got this belt, he was different. This whole place was different. But he always said he hated that, so why have this here? Why not get rid of it like he did his old costumes and anything that reminded of him back when he wasn’t the raining champ? What made this so important?

Ragatha noticed him approaching her from the corner of her eye as she continued looking over the date belt. They were fighting a moment ago but almost like it’s natural thing with him things changed in an instant. Childish anger snuffed out in a moment of somberness she and him were clearly not prepared for. She feels hollow looking at it in a way she can’t explain. “I remember when you got this. First one right?”

Jax nods slowly as if he says something stupid; now she’ll rip it to shreds. Ragatha thinks she should know better of her, but does he really? Yes, they’ve known each other for yeats, but how close are they actually? He watches her as she stares hard at the belt, running her fingers over where the peels are curved like someone had run soothing circles into the old leather until it couldn’t hold up anymore. “It really has been years hasn’t it?”

Everything in the fight club is constantly updated, but a few things. And they were hard to find. Her favorite gym being one of them. Run down and beat down from years of use. If things weren’t specifically asked to be kept the same, they’d change whether they liked it or not.

Old and torn never fit into the aesthetic of the fight club. She looks out the window, and like always, the sky was always dark with a glitter of stars mathematically spaced apart to create the most perfectly even night sky. Things that aged in general didn’t fit in a digital world. So having something old was a luxury I couldn’t understand. 

“What did you forget?” He asks what should be sarcastic, but when she looks at him, he has a serious face.

“Yeah, a little bit.” She chuckles sadly but hands it to him, and she sees him physically calm a bit.

“We’ll fuck.” He says securely, putting on the belt, flopping on the huge chair next to her, and picking up the remote angrily. “Then we’ll never figure a way out if here. Kinger and Gangle’s lost it in seven different ways to heaven, and Zooble doesn’t even know what they're fighting for anymore. You’re supposed to be the one holding on to hope or whatever. You gonna let me down too?” Her eyes shoot up to him, but he doesn’t have a readable expression. He’s looking at the TV but also a million miles away. If she hadn’t just seen his mouth move, she would’ve thought she heard something. She knows that look, and for a second time today, in what seemed like forever with him, he looks so human.

And then it clicks why he has this and why she has her nasty gym. They’re the only proof in this entire place that time has passed by. That things are changing; they are moving forward. Moving towards what? Who the hell knows? But even if it’s stupid, worn out, and gross, it’s something to hold on to that’s real. That reminds them they're humans, and there’s a world out there waiting for them to get out. One she promised him and everyone else she’d stay by their side until they figured out how to get there. And right now she’s letting him down.

She straightens her back and stands right in front of him, and he raises his brow but says nothing. “Hey, you know what I learned today?”

"No, but I figure from the girl's power stance you're going to tell me.” Jax said, sighing.

“You’re a real piece of work.”

"Wooow, figure that one out all by yourself, huh? Took you long enough. Now move my show’s on.” He said shooing her to the side.

“Cocky, conceded, disrespectful, a notorious cheater, pigheaded, sloppy, lazy." She starts pacing back and forth. “Annoying, ungrateful-”

“Devilishly handsome,” He pipes into her ranting, but this only causes her to focus straight on him. 

“DELIOUSINAL, stubborn as a mule and twice as dumb! Like seriously, were you dropped on your head as a baby or born stupid?” His eye twitches at that one, and she smirks, only causing him to get more annoyed.

“You done, yet?”

“No.” She smiles sweetly. “I also realized I’m better than you! No one even likes you! Hell, I don’t even like you!”

“That’s it!” He’s foot slams on the floor, and he moves to get up, but she kicks him back in his seat, leaning her whole body pressure where her foot meets his chest, and he growls at her again.

She throws a punch so hard next to head her brace knuckles sink into the high-quality martial arts and wood and leans forward until she’s inches above his face, completely locking him in place with her body, so the best he can do is struggle and snarl at her, which she gives 100% back.

“But as much as you infuriate me!” She says, grabbing his face with her other hand and shoveling it back, and for a moment he thinks he’s actually driven her insane enough to murder. Which is pretty impressive considering it’s Ragatha and hey not the worst way to go. But then her face then softens, and she lightly brushes an old scar on his chin, once again making his hair stand up. “If there’s anything you can count on in this circus, it’s that we humans stick together. And I will always have your back. Got it?"

She’s looking at him with her stupid button eye and her warm brown one that always piss him off, and they still should. But the firm promise of her words is in them as she waits for him to respond, creating a flood of relief in his chest; he didn't realize needed to be released until that moment. Suddenly his mouth feels full of cotton, and he doesn’t like the space he’s in, but he nods a “got it,” none the less.

“Good!” Ragatha smiles her stupid brighter than the sun and yanks her fist out of the furniture using her leg that was trapping his chest to knock him and the entire couch over and walk backwards back into a fighting stance. “Now get off your ass. Fighting never stops here, you know that! C’mon Jack Rabbit, I’m not done with you yet.”

She motions for him to come over with a fire in her eyes that gets him out of his stupor and sends his blood straight to boil. That fire that kept them all going. This is what it’s all about; this he liked! Jax wipes off the dust of his ruined chair, and his smile splits devilishly. “That’s my girl!”

[mla0]

you know i've always liked entity patrick interpretations, but what if it was a red herring or something? hear me out. canonically speaking, as far as i'm aware (from the forum posts we recently gained access back to) it's confirmed that michael and patrick are a DID system. now if you know anything about DID, there's the concept of pseudomemories, which are most present in fictives i think? but it's not exclusive to them. terms like these don't have one, perfect little definition you can simply find, but the best way i know how to describe them is as memories that didn't actually, literally happen, but still often carry emotional significance for the person who has them. they can be allegorical too, representing something that's too hard to remember in a more easy to digest way. but keep in mind i'm not a doctor or some shit, so don't take what i've heard as gospel just because i myself have DID. i just hope this gives context to my little idea

anyways. what if patrick's memories of being from a time before michael, all the entity-esque stuff he thinks he knows about himself, are actually pseudomemories? he thinks he's an entity because that's what he remembers, he has some non-human abilities like teleportation (though i think that's all we ever see), and i think deep down he's always seen himself as an outsider. it's his way of coping with the fact that he's been so hard to accept into the family, it's his way of rationalizing it and making it easier. of course he's othered, he IS an other. of course he doesn't feel like he fits in, he was never MADE to fit in. it's his way of keeping distance between himself and michael, and him and shaun, even when both start to accept him and see him as another sibling. like i said- it can make things easier to digest

but the truth underneath it all is, both michael and patrick are capable of these nonhuman-y abilities, michael just doesn't know how to use them. patrick has always been a part of the family, he just refuses to accept it because he doesn't want to feel vulnerable, doesn't want to open himself up when he fears being shut down yet again. habit and patrick DO "go way back," but that's because the andersen's reiterate; it's still always been michael, shaun, and himself since the beginning. and patrick keeps getting holes in his memory. losing time, losing key details that would make it obvious to him. things about himself that he doesn't understand. and michael doesn't have the heart to tell him, because it's a sort of coping mechanism. i think that only when everyone around him finally accepts him as he is, doesn't treat him like an outsider anymore for a prolonged period of time so he starts to feel more comfortable- that's when patrick finally comes to terms with it, and accepts it

so yeah. the ultimate combining of interpretations

[ir-abelas-vhenan]

Losing My Mind Over Veilguard 6/?? Aka the Dread Wolf Double Bind

These posts are getting up here in number (yes ma'am that is 1 2 3 4 5 instances of me not being able to get my shit together and coming back again for more)

and quite frankly there's nothing I can do about it until the "we've been treated and tormented by this game" demon has been exorcised from my body, so here we go again.

Today I give to you:

(Modeled after Inquisition Solas and his sad, bald-ass basset hound mage bum glory becuase I think it's important that newcomers know exactly who his fans fell in love with/who inspired his enemies to conduct speed-runs to punch him. Yassified Solas ran only because this mangled membranous man crawled first)

Part of what's making me lose my mind here, I've discovered, is a strange sort of survivor's guilt where everything I really like or really hate about Veilguard can be traced back to Solas and I don't know how to deal with it because we've never had such a divide before between one character getting ALL the content and everyone else from their game being left in the absolute dust.

Disclaimer: Yeah, no one from Origins has had more screen time across games than Morrigan at this point, and therefore no one has gotten more robbed of the substance of their character, but even the damage done to her wasn't the kind that warped an entire game. No, the devs saved that all for the Dread Wolf in the Room.

Even putting it down on paper and comparing the two in-game versions of him, it took me a second to work through why I'm so conflicted, but I think I've finally settled on a few key points.

Concern #1: Solas Haters Were Robbed.

Part of the allure of Solas is that if you want to punch that man in the face, you're gonna get the chance to punch him in the face. Is that my personal preference? No. But in a game where your companions are built to make you think instead of letting you turn your brain off, you're bound to have personalities that clash against yours. To have such a non-descript-looking iambic-pentameter-talking apostate be able to inspire strong emotions across the whole spectrum of players was part of his appeal. Now, as far as I understand it, you have four options at the end of Veilguard.

1. Solas lives and he might actually not hate himself some day.

2. Solas lives and he's absolutely going to write a diary entry a night about why he hates himself.

3. Solas lives and he's going to write a diary entry a night about why he hates YOU.

4. Solas lives and you better hope he never again figures out how to live in your general vicinity

Do you see my concern here? I, shamelessly, can admit that I would do unspeakable fictional things to get that man his happy ending (within reason...mostly...), but I feel like the game took the opportunity away from the players who threw that knife in their map at the end of Trespasser and vowed to take a bitch down for stealing their best armor and waxing poetic about the Grey Wardens while seemingly sitting on his ass and having no inclination to stop the blight (help). This, then, leads me into my second issue.

Concern #2: The Game Refuses to Give Solas room outside of its own agenda

In the near-decade it took for Solas to slip back into his trickster god persona, he seems to have forgotten why he began his quest to tear down the veil in the first place. I like that Rook gets to experience the version of our favorite hard boiled egg that near-singlehandedly tore down several empires by being an absolute terror to those with bigger egos. I like that new players are going to hear Solas tell them that they've earned his respect and actually believe it until they inevitably get their first taste of ancient elven betrayal. What I don't like? When a nuanced yearning for a world in which three majorly mistreated groups (spirits, elves, mages) would be free from many of the constraints that enabled their oppression suddenly becomes "I am doing this because if I don't I have betrayed my friend. Which friend you ask? Oh, the one that was on board with my plan until it no longer suited the story."

The combo of few characters from previous games and a sanitized near-blank slate for the setting of this game was deadly to one of its best-written characters. Because of it, Solas is forced to abandon his double-speak, the joy he takes in giving you scraps of an answer that, by the time you get it, you will already have missed the chance to piece it together from separate clues that he ALSO dropped. He's not going to get to show you the loyal followers the epilogue of Inquisition made clear that he has, because the game wants to usher you into the new future of the series. You're not going to get to ask him (or any NPCs for that matter) a bunch of questions so that you can form your own opinion of him, because all that matters is that he isn't Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain so let's move along, shall we?

Because the game needs exposition and a foil to its two other baddies, and needs it FAST, the mythic Dread Wolf becomes a plot device designed to get you where you need to go when you need to be there. It doesn't work purely for that reason alone, at least in my opinion, but it gets so much worse when a game that promises you that it's going to work for players new and old relies on someone experienced players want a personal reckoning with to guide every Rook through the game only to realize that those questions of morality regarding whether the veil is torturous for a subjugated few or the only thing preserving most of life as we know it are going to have to remain questions.

You don't get a choice of whether Solas is in your party or not, and you can't advance in the game without talking to him. You don't get to choose not to impress him. You don't get to choose whether you're going to work with him in the final battle, and as previously mentioned, your only real choice in how his story ends is one of four options in which he lives every time in varying states of self-loathing. You're still going to love him or hate him, but just how strongly you're able to show those feelings towards him is severely curtailed. And that's an absolute shame for a character that commanded such fierce attention.

And that's where, ultimately, I find myself with a weird amount of survivor's guilt.

When I finished my Veilguard playthrough, I had barely a moment to fully contemplate the amount of whiplash and disappointment I felt going from a Solas that I had spent almost a decade knowing to a One Dimensional Fen'Harel who threw out his core values and goals like they were chilling in a cup of tea before. Why? Because I very quickly felt guilty. And then I got angry for feeling guilty!

The game's failure to adequately represent its other characters and lore has created a world in which I don't like the Solas we've been given, but I can't live without him either. Who am I to complain that his most complex and compelling features are gone when other players are mourning the fact that the last they may ever hear of their favorite character is reduced to a scrap in the codex? How can I be frustrated at how the Lavellan reunion scene goes down when other players would kill for the chance to have their Inquisitor seemingly give any sort of shit about being in the game aside from being told it was mandatory to earn participation points? How can I lament the fact that his storyline seems to share all the wrong lessons to be learned from a toxic friendship rooted in a never-equalized power imbalance when someone else is watching Morrigan pull a complete 180 and wondering why the fuck they spent so much time researching whether or not her accepting her mother's choices as her own was what she truly wanted? At least Solas still loves Lavellan, even though we needed to ask Trick Weekes several follow up questions just to double check. At least Solas gets more in the epilogue than one empty "we remember the heroes that came before" platitude.

And to suddenly fear any appearances of past characters from a studio that used to make me stay up theorizing about how a character might grow and evolve and continue to impact the world I helped shape? It's depressing as hell, and it's why I was too scared to get attached to any of the new companions once I finally got past the writing and lack of complexity.

The people that hate Solas, deserved better.

The people that valued what he brought to their Inquisitor's small but strong group of friends deserved better.

The people that love Solas more than Sera loved pissing him off deserved better.

And new players, who had a chance to engage with one of the most powerful storylines in the game and instead got a heaping dose of Deus Ex Machina Lite, deserved better.

If taking a character that had the potential and power needed to shape an entire continent and banishing him one of four different ways to Fade jail so that the book could quickly be closed on a years-long legacy is what the studio is calling a return to their roots, I'll stick with the efforts of fans to create art and theories that aren't afraid to double down into what actually keeps people coming back for more.

[clonerightsagenda]

Kat's "I could fix her" Arcane season 2 post Part 1:

Yeah we're skipping straight past the recap/reflections on what this show actually was into my 'just let me into the writers room' post because I'm currently tormented by, ironically, what could have been

What's funny is the characters didn't even end up doomed by the narrative because of their League of Legends fates!! They killed a whole bunch of champions! They just Did All That anyway.

As I was saying in previous posts, the season was overstuffed. I genuinely liked some of the music video portions lol, but there was just so much going on.

I still would put Mel in a Magic Coma for the entire season and spin out her Black Rose plot for a third season or new spinoff (it seems like there will be one anyway). Her storyline as is felt like an afterthought and wasn't fully explained. Am I supposed to know the Black Rose lady? I don't. Being crammed in does her a disservice; I'd rather give her room to breathe. This would create a stronger absent mother/absent daughter bond between Ambessa and Caitlyn, and Caitlyn could see Ambessa claiming to do things for her daughter's sake even though it's obviously stuff Mel would never approve of, and that could force Caitlyn to reflect on how her mother wouldn't approve of the actions she's taking allegedly for her sake. That could sell Caitlyn's immediately re-siding with Vi better.

This may be a very hot take, but I didn't really like the werewolf Vander plotline. My understanding is he's a LoL champion, but he felt particularly cartoonish even in an increasingly cartoonish season, and just kept retreading the same ground. Vander's dead. :( He's alive! :) He's dead again. :( Obviously the cycles are part of the point, and he represents how Vander's death is this monstrous always dying never at rest force between the sisters tying them together and strangling them at the same time, but I'd cut it. Have Vi seek Jinx out after the prison break because she can't believe her sister did that, have Jinx admit she only did it to save one girl, and they reflect on how Vander also did stuff just for kids versus ideals. Make Vi reflect on how her little jaunt with Jayce killed a kid, and here Jinx is saving one, and people are complicated. Still not clear on how Jinx has no negative effects from Shimmer, so give her a few and that can be their new reason for going to Viktor's commune. Ambessa can hear about his new weird magitech without needing a werewolf to pique her interest.

Obviously this raises of the question of what Vi and Jinx are doing in the finale, and while I don't think every character needs a big damn fight scene, they can back up Caitlyn versus Ambessa since Mel won't be there, which also forces them to deal with the Vi-Caitlyn-Jinx tension. IDK if there's a way to have Jinx ambiguously blow herself up in that scenario but here's a thought, maybe the most prominently disabled characters don't all need to die and/or commit suicide? More on that later. Ambessa is subdued, not dead, though, so she and Mel can talk later.

Finally (for this post) I already expressed my frustration that the key class conflict so present in the first season and first half of the second gets mostly shoved under the rug because there's a new enemy to fight. Yes, that's often used as a distraction irl, but that's not a *good* thing. Sevika's sitting at the councilor's table at the end of the show. Who negotiated that? Caitlyn? If we absolutely must go the direction of a big damn final battle, I want to see that conversation and all of the pain and distrust that must've come up during it.

That's the kid gloves version. If I was being aggressive - and I would be - I'd have the fighting totally destroy Piltover with arcane corruption, and now everyone from Piltover has to live in the Undercity/Zaun as refugees. Forget Sevika sitting down at the Piltover table as the new councilors glare at her. Now the Piltover councilors are having to sit awkwardly down at a table with Sevika and Ekko's number 2. (Or Ekko. What is he doing besides sitting sadly on that roof. Is he involved in governance. Is his tree ok.) Piltover suffocated Zaun for years with their industrial runoff. Now they're choking to death on their own magical industrial waste, and they're going to have to learn to live like everybody else.

I am still parsing the whole Viktor, Jayce, and disability thing since as you know that's one of the elements that fascinates me most about this show (the new improved crunchy ableism even as they genuinely try to explore something interesting) so I will be typing a separate post about that, probably thinking through it as I write. Stay tuned.